What You Need to Know About High Five-ing

April 21st is National High Five Day. There are many different ways to properly deliver this most hallowed of public male demonstrations of acceptance. Let me take a bit of time to help you along with this one…

Safe, Tried and True

Standard High Five – Up high, very relaxed, as you pass each other by. Soft slaps desired.  Make it look like you don’t really care, but bring it home, Dude.

The Down Low – Below the waist line, rotating your arms in a downward arc, palms facing back. Soft slap, done while walking by each other.  Don’t hit each other in the butt, or the world will end.  It’s a fact.

Around the World – Standard high five above the head, continuing the downward arc into a down low as you continue walking by each other.  Accomplish this properly, and women will secretly want you.  Want you, I said.

For The High Five Challenged (You Know Who You Are)

Are you one of those kind of guys who simply can’t properly deliver a high five?  Few things are more embarrassing to a guy than missing a high five.  They don’t take your Man Card – they SHRED it.  You will have to build an engine from scratch to get it back.  In a dark room. With a wild, meat eating mammal. Before this happens to you, please try the High Five Etiquette website.

Only If You Are Under 10 Years of Age, or a Girl

The Blender – Spin around while giving down lows.

The Moose - high five then place hands, palms upen and facing front, behind the top of your head.

The Sea Turtle – high five then make a swimming sea turtle motion.

The Starfish – high five then squeeze their face with one hand and shout “Starfish!”  Now you understand why only children and girls can do these…

Don’t be a High Five Slut

These are the poor bastards who lack the High Five Limit Gene – they have to slap everyone, all of the time. Don’t be one. The Todd from NBC’s sitcom Scrubs demonstrates in the teaching video below…

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Posted by Steve Woods on Apr 20 2011. Filed under Odd Holidays. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry