In social media, it’s all about the followers, isn’t it?  Have you ever come across someone providing status updates and information on Twitter or Facebook, without anyone listening?  For social media to work for us, to be interesting, we need to develop relationships with others, to provide something of value in our written words, and keep it up.  It’s always nice to have others learn about you and decide to listen too – social media is a very large campfire to tell our story around.

DUNBAR’S NUMBER

The Guardian newspaper in the UK in an article last year stated that the average Twitter account holder has around 126 followers.  I’m sure that the average has gone up since then.  Recently published research by Robin Dunbar, professor of Evolutionary Anthropology at Oxford, underscores the long-held belief that the average person can only successfully maintain up to 150 relationships, even when looking at interactions in social media.

THE NUMBERS GAME

Up to last month, I had over 4,000 followers.  I’m not bragging, so bear with me.  I suppose I was doing well, if one provides a greater emphasis upon the number of followers as a measure of tweeting success.  I began to wonder about my actual level of interaction with my followers, so I searched for a few tools to help me measure my true interaction level with(or influence on) these people.

One of the tools I found and used (and I recommend you try it out too,) is Friend or Follow, which provides you, without having to log in, a clickable listing of:

• The people you are following that are not following you back (Followings)
• The people who are following you that you are not following back (Fans)
• The people you are following that are following you back (Friends)

Each of these listings provides a grid of avatar images.  A pause over each avatar shows each person’s:

• Full name
• Number of follows and followers
• Location
• Date last tweeted
• Date their Twitter account was created

Pretty cool stuff.  A question that arose in my mind was “What was I trying to get out of Twitter, anyway?”  After all, who you choose to follow creates your social media experience, right?  So what happens out there? What (and who) exactly do we all have to choose from in Twitter?

Not long ago, Pear Analytics of San Antonio, Texas analyzed 2,000 tweets from U.S. accounts over 2 weeks, and broke down what they saw as follows:

• News-related tweets from mainstream media accounted for 3.6% of the tweets
• Spammed content was being sent out 3.75% of the time
• Shameless self-promotion by companies made up 5.85% of the traffic
• Pointless babbling (incoherent on their own merit messages) were passed 40.55% of the time
• Conversation-based messages made up 37.55% of what was seen
• Passed-along retweets of others’ content constituted 8.7% of what was found

WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM SOCIAL MEDIA?

I know what I want from social media.  Relationships.  Friendships.  Community.  Just how much of this was happening with my 4,000 followers?

I discovered that almost half of the people following me (2,000 people!) hadn’t tweeted in over a month.  The average length of time someone keeps a Twitter account is about 18 months — had so many simply given up on Twitter?  Over 1,000 of them hadn’t tweeted in more than 3 months, and hundreds hadn’t said anything in practically a year.   How could I build a relationship with someone who wasn’t even on Twitter anymore?

I also found a ton of spammers, self-promoters, and a fair share of people who simply babbled on without actually responding to people who replied.  Among these accounts were a few jewels, shining examples of people who were using Twitter in the manner for which it was designed — to actually interact with others.

REBUILD IT – THEY WILL STILL COME

I began pruning my followings carefully over many, many hours, with an eye for the people that I either cared to listen to (regardless if they followed me back,) and people who actually conversed with me on a regular basis.  I got down to following around 800 people, (20% of my followers) and waited to see what happened.  Over the next 3 days, I lost 400 people in response to my actions, and not one contacted me to ask why I had dropped them.

I was still unsatisfied that I better start to meet my needs in social media.  After all, I still had thousands of followers who weren’t really there.  I decided to take a much bigger leap, and created a whole new Twitter account – an absolute do-over, documented here.  I followed everyone important to me, then tweeted invites to anyone listening for a solid week.  I then deleted my old account.  I was a new man…

I’m up to 530 followers now, only 25% of what I had before.  And you know what? The level of interaction is the same.  Although my followers have relatively more recent accounts, only about 20% of them actually say something to me once in awhile, comfortably below Dunbar’s magic number of 150.  And I am okay with that, because I simply adore these people, and I know they wish to build a relationship with me.

I still have my share of spammers and self-promoters following me.  I’ll welcome anyone who wants to follow.  I like my new, albeit smaller family.  We share our joys and trials together, and care about each other.

JOIN ME!

Are you courageous enough to follow too?  To interact with someone who will ask you questions about your life, who will provide assistance when asked, who will laugh, cry, think and pray with you in times of need?  Who will never ask you if your teeth are white enough, or if you’d like to see photos of me being naughty? Are you ready for some community-building?

If the answer is yes, then why not take a chance on me?  What are you waiting for? Please join me on Twitter today!

Hinamatsuri is an extremely old ceremony, filled with color and meaning.  Soft, red fabric is laid all over, especially on stepped tables.  On the fabric are carefully placed dolls, hundreds of them, thousands all over.  From Hello Kitty to miniature Kabuki or Geisha versions, the dolls are considered to be empty containers with a spiritually important purpose.

As people look over the dolls, remarking at their whimsy or beauty, prayers are quietly given, meant to summon into memory recollections of evil or undesirable spirits, situations and thoughts, tragedies and terrors.  The intention is to move that which has burdened you, your family or your community into one of the dolls.

Many of the dolls at the shrine, along with trinkets and sweets, will be placed upon tiny straw boats, and placed upon the waters of the Takano and Kamo rivers, to float away, along with the bad spirits, omens and thoughts.  More prayers are said as the participants silently watch the boats float away with their worries and fears.

Hinamatsuri provides the people of Kyoto and Japan an annual cathartic feeling, as they begin to positively look forward to a better year ahead….

“…you will cast all your sins into the depths of the sea…”  ~ Micah 7:9

In Jewish tradition, there is a similar ceremony, held around Rosh Hashanah, known as Tashlich.  Tashlich is a Hebrew word, translating as “to cast away.”  It is a rarity among Jewish ceremonies, believed to be so important to spiritual growth that it is observed even on the Sabbath.

In preparation for requesting forgiveness from ourselves, each other and God, Jews keep some bread crumbs in a pocket while pondering on all of the sinful behavior they took part in during the previous 365 days.  Tradition has it that as we open our hearts and memories in honesty, the crumbs will absorb our sins and grief.

It is important to do this quietly, alone, and over a long period, thinking of everyone we may have wronged, no matter how slight the act seemed to us.

To perform Tashlich, special prayers are read aloud as the bread crumbs are cast into a free-flowing body of water, such as a stream or river.  The movement of water is essential, ritually carrying the sin-filled crumbs from where they were thrown.

In Ancient Israel, lakes and rivers were few and far between, so small shallow wells (cisterns) were dug up and used.  Kurdish and Yemenese Jews immersed themselves fully in Mikvot (ritual baths) to clean themselves of their sins.  The Jews of Safed climbed upon their roofs and prayed over the Sea of Galilee below.  In Galicia, Jews prayed over tiny boats of straw, them floated them out onto the water with lit candles.  When the candles burned down, the boats (and sins) caught fire and were destroyed.

The concept of Tashlich has evolved in modern time to mean that we are not so much casting off our sins as casting off attitudes and behaviors that caused them.  It is committing oneself to work on bettering ourselves, to be more understanding, more accepting, more loving toward and caring for our fellow Man.

“Don’t be afraid to make a mistake.  But be sure you don’t make the same mistake twice.”  ~ Akio Morita

In many larger Nations, a formal period of self-imposed reflection, asking of forgivenes, and casting off of bad behaviors does not exist.  We leave it up to ourselves to realize on our own (or through friends, family or religious leaders) that this is necessary for us to grow and move forward in life.  Do we as a Nation, as a Society, run the risk of repeating our mistakes without this periodic introspection?

We tend to stand together in times of crisis, such as now, after the tragedies of Haiti and Chile.  We stand together in times of great loss, as great leaders pass away or are murdered before our eyes.  In War, we are both torn apart as family at the kitchen table and bonded for life with strangers on the battlefield. We miss no chance to join together in celebration.  In the moments of greatest trial and tribulation, we can become much closer, a larger global family.

I wonder about Hinamatsuri and Tashlich.  Are we missing something important in our desire to grow closer as a family, in that we do not reach out and join together to ponder our behaviors, to ask forgiveness of our loved ones, our friends, our co-workers and ourselves?  Should we endeavor to begin, as a Nation, as a global family, to partake together in these celebrations of thoughtfulness and emotional release?

Many people are suffering recently, sleeping outside in the rubble amidst terror-filled memories and dreams.  My thoughts and prayers are with the peoples of Haiti and Chile.  May their pain and sorrow, the terrible tragedy of life lived hard before all of our eyes, be moved away from them, away into the deep still oceans, to return no more…

Steve Woods

Please read previous postings on how to forgive, and how you can begin to make a difference in the World using Social Media.

For Pete’s Sake Day

Today is For Pete’s Sake Day, a commemoration of those verbal replacement players we call in during times of extreme anger, stress or pain, so as to not cause Grandma Lorraine, quietly watching Golden Girls in the next room, to spray her chamomile tea all over the sofa.  We all have our perennial favorites — Criminy, Dagnabbit, Doggone, Gadzooks, Jeepers Creepers, Judas Priest, and Tarnation, to name a few.

It’s always amazing to me, how a split second after slamming a hammer on our thumb our minds can register the presence of others, and instantly rein in that primeval desire to shout obscenities aloud like the foulest of sailors.

Explanation and Origin

To those who care about terminology, they are officially known as minced oaths, introduced into our vernacular during the Middle Ages, when the Church monitored the language and actions of the common folk, and were quick to punish any offenses.  Commonly used euphemisms launched at God or Jesus in times of anger and stress had to be glossed over and reworked to avoid such punishments.

Later, as things religiously loosened up, minced oaths became personally chosen alternatives for those who wanted to maintain an air of greater dignity about them, even in times of agony.

Fun Examples of Minced Oaths

Here are 77 ways to cuss out loud without actually cursing, along with what was meant, courtesy of Phrases.Org, with some censoring done by me (Hey, this is a family blog…).

77 Minced Oaths

Begorrah –> By God
Bejabbers –> By Jesus
Bleeding heck –> Bloody Hell
Blimey –> Blind me
Blinking heck –> Bloody Hell
By George –> By God
By golly –> By God’s body
By gosh –> By God
By gum –> By God
By Jove –> By God
Cheese and Rice –> Jesus Christ
Chrissakes –> For Christ’s sake
Christmas –> Christ
Cor blimey –> God blind me
Crikey –> Christ
Criminy –> Christ
Cripes –> Christ
Crivvens –> Christ defend us
Dad gum –> God d*mn
Dagnabbit –> God d*mn it
Dagnammit –> God d*mn it
Dang –> D*mn
Dangnabbit –> God d*mn it
Dangnation –> D*mnation
Darn –> D*mn
Darnation –> D*mnation
Doggone –> God d*mn
Drat –> God rot it
Egad –> A God
Figs –> F*ck
Fink –> F*ck
Flaming heck –> F*cking Hell
Flipping heck –> F*cking Hell
For crying out loud –> For Christ’s sake
For Pete’s sake –> For St. Peter’s sake
For the love of Mike –> For St. Michael’s sake
Freaking –> f*cking
Gadzooks –> God’s hooks
Gat Dangit –> God d*mn it
Gee –> Jesus
Gee whizz –> Jesus
Gee willikers –> Jesus
Godfrey Daniel –> God
Golly Gee willikers –> Jesus
Good garden party –> Good God
Good grief –> Good God
Goodness gracious –> Good God
Gorblimey –> God blind me
Gosh –> God
Gosh darned –> God d*mned
Heck –> Hell
Holy spit –> Holy sh*t
Jason Crisp –> Jesus Christ
Jebus –> Jesus
Jeepers Creepers –> Jesus Christ
Jeez –> Jesus
Jeezy Creezy –> Jesus Christ
Jehosaphat –> Jesus
Jiminy Christmas –> Jesus Christ
Jiminy Cricket –> Jesus Christ
Judas Priest –> Jesus Christ
Land sakes –> For the Lord’s sake
Lawks a mercy –> Lord have mercy
My goodness –> My God
My gosh –> My God
Odds-bodkins –> God’s sweet body
Sacré bleu –> Sang de Dieu (God’s blood)
Sam Hill –> Hell
Shoot –> sh*t
Shucks –> sh*t
Strewth –> God’s Truth
Suffering succotash –> Suffering Saviour
Sugar –> sh*t
Tarnation –> D*mnation
What in Sam Hill? –> What in d*mn Hell?
Wish to goodness –> Wish to God
Zounds –> God’s wounds

Phew.  Glad I got that out.  Why use minced oaths in our daily lives?  Well, chamomile is hard enough to get out of the chintz without Grandma staring us down in disgust.  And then for most of us there’s the worry about the blunt and instantaneous anger of Mom and Dad, or the feared disapproval of our Aunts and Uncles.  How about around co-workers or the boss?  And nobody wants to be excommunicated after an outburst brought on by slamming our head on the low door frame at our local Church, either.

The Proximity of Caring

Distance.  Perhaps that is what minced oaths are all about.  Whether due to geography, ages or emotional bonding, the closer people are to us, the more proximate to our daily lives, the more we care about what they may think about what we do or say.  While I held my emerging sailor mouth in check around Uncle David and Aunt Debbie, I explored the profound and resilient usage of the F-bomb while playing in the back yard with my brothers and cousins.  While our bosses believe we have a clean mouth, that guy in the next cubicle over, who heard when we spilled our coffee all over last month’s project, likely knows better…

Suffering in Silence

I moved into an apartment almost 3 years ago, along with my two daughters.  My oldest got the room next to mine, built-in cabinets providing her with gobs of storage space.  Wanting to help sort things into these same cabinets, I opened them all, small wooden doors gaping into the room, as I knelt over her innumerable collectibles on the carpet below.

Hearing my daughter bring a number of boxes up the stairs into my room, I wanted to make sure they were being put in a place I could get to easily, so I dropped what I was doing and stood up rapidly.  My forehead met, with enormous impact, the bottom corner of one of the doors I had opened not five minutes earlier.

If you bang your skull just right, you actually can see stars.  I know, because they danced through the sheer pain in my head as I fell to the floor in a fetal position, wanting to scream out creative variations of every obscenity I had ever learned, but not doing so because my children were in in the next rooms.  I lie there, gritting my teeth to the point of cracking them, feeling warm blood trickle between my fingers, as I held my head (and fortunately, my tongue…)

The Proximity of Social Media

I’ve been doing a great deal of blocking lately in Twitter, and have had to remove certain individuals from my friendships in Facebook from time to time.  It’s been for a variety of reasons, such as being insulting to others, or exhibiting small-minded or bigoted behaviors.   When I see it, I don’t entertain it any longer, and am always left wondering how someone can treat relative strangers in such offensive ways.

I believe it’s got a lot to do with the unique feeling of distance in social media, in all facets – geographically, due to to a large user age range, and an overall lack of emotional intimacy.  We’ve all had our share of young idiots who storm into Twitter and see just how many people they can tick off before their account gets disabled from the angry feedback.  We navigate Facebook alongside people whose language is less-than-guarded more often than needed.

Is the problem of how we talk to each other in social media due to not really seeing each other?  Is it because we don’t really spend time, physically, in each other’s presences?  If the loss of civility in social media is due to not having social cues similar to those in real lives, then how do we create replacement signals to use in our own personal experiences online?  Please let me know, as I’m open to suggestions in the comments section, and plan to write about social media intimacy and personal boundaries in the near future…

Black and white, of all faiths, they sat throughout the bus despite still-in-place Jim Crow seating laws, as they headed deep into the Southern states.  They were fearful and hopeful, faithful and proud.  But they were together.  They had Faith.

Mardi Gras and the values of Justice, Faith and Power

Beginning today (the day before Ash Wednesday,) Mardi Gras is serious business in New Orleans.  Unless your business is directly involved in the celebration, not a lot goes on for a few days, at the least.  Mardi Gras is a celebration of lights, sounds, music, people, food and laughter.  It is a commemoration of life, Creole style, a visual and auditory feast, a joyous celebration of another year of renewed Justice, Faith and Power.   Without a sense of Justice in our lives, we would be in constant strife for some semblance of fairness around us.  Without Faith, we would rapidly find few reasons to live at all beyond our choices day to day.  Without some sense of Power, we cannot see what we do mattering at all in not only our own lives, but the lives of others. These three basic and important values are essential to the residents of New Orleans, especially following Hurricane Katrina.

Celebrations similar to Mardi Gras are held all over the World for two whole weeks, leading up to the Christian fasting period of Lent.  Venice, Italy and Mazatlan, Mexico also have their own celebrations, along with many other major cities around the World.

American origin of Mardi Gras

In 1704 King Louis XIV of France sent off his brothers, Iberville and Bienville LeMoyne, to renew France’s claim on the coastal lands bordering Northern Gulf of Mexico. Iberville and Bienville’s ships sailed a few miles into the mouth of the Mississippi River, and moored, planting French flags in the soil and christening the area Point du Mardi Gras, and forming a new French colony.  It is at this very place that the traditions of the rich French American Creole culture of New Orleans sprang up.

During our colonial period, New Orleans’ use of African slaves was very different than the typical plantation scene.  Black slaves were taught city-based trades (cobbler, plumber, etc.) that wound up being useful following the abolition of slavery, so they remained in New Orleans long after the Civil War ended.  It is in part because of this that there is such a dominant (yet poor) African American community there to this day, contributing to its unique style.

The first of the two buses reached Anniston, Alabama, to a mob of over 200 angry white protesters, who threw rocks through the windows and slashed the tires of the bus.  Rushing past the onslaught, they got 6 miles out of town and visited a service station to get the tires replaced.  It was there that the bus was firebombed.

The second bus reached Birmingham, where it was stopped by yet another mob, the riders forcibly dragged outside, and beaten.  Freedom of Information Act releases later showed that the FBI knew of the planned attack and did nothing to prevent it.  Alabama’s then-Governor John Patterson was unapologetic, stating that he felt the riders deserved the treatment.

Traditions related to Mardi Gras

There are a variety of practices unique to the celebration of Mardi Gras.  There are special foods, including King cakes, which are similar to the Rosca de Reyes (recipe) cakes of Mexico in that they are multi-colored, ring-shaped, and have little baby statues baked therein.  Whoever cuts their slice off and finds the baby must host next year’s party, or at least purchase next year’s King cake.

There are special colors for Mardi Gras: purple, green and gold, signifying the values of Justice, Faith, and Power. Everywhere you look during Mardi Gras you are assailed by these colors, in clothing, signs, streamers, confetti, coins and beads.  People are cajoled into creating and wearing elaborate costumes of these colors, and joining in the festivities.  Feather masks are also welcome.  This is a time to boisterously announce your continued freedom and right to enjoy life.

Everywhere you go during Mardi Gras, you hear it.  Zydeco – the uniquely American Traditional Creole folk music, heavy on the accordion and washboard.  Walk down any alley, and you just might find yourself dancing with strangers, who may welcome you with strings of beads, all to get you in the spirit of things.  There is a definitive sense of strength, of the ability to carry on, despite the rubble still within walking distance from the French Quarter.

Despite the setbacks, many of the Freedom Riders wanted to press on in their pursuit of Justice; however, the bus company did not want to risk any other buses, and the drivers refused to drive any further.  So many were afraid due to the ferocity of the attacks against them, that the bulk of those riders left able to carry on wound up having to fly to New Orleans.

Reports of the attacks caused many leaders of the Civil Rights Movement to consider strong yet peaceful actions of an immediate nature, in order to ensure that the Movement did not die in the face of such violence.  Another set of Freedom Riders formed up and borrowed buses, heading out to Birmingham to tackle the issue head-on.  They received the same level of non-protection from law enforcement, and were also beaten at the roadside.

Mardi Gras Parades

An absolute staple of Mardi Gras, the first parade in the United States wasn’t held in New Orleans, but in Mobile, Alabama in the early 1700’s.  It wasn’t until 1830 that the parades moved to the French Quarter.  Due to New Orleans’ more carefree environment, the parades quickly grew in size, scale (and level of risquety) to what we see today.  Traditionally, as many as 60 parades rolled through New Orleans in the two week span between Ash Wednesday and Lent.

As times have changed, so has the face of the parades.  After Hurricane Katrina, the floats were used to send a message about the Federal Government’s slow response in helping the people of the Lower 9th Ward.  Things are still getting back up to speed, and with each passing year more and more floats arrive, as more Krewes get re-organized.

In1872, Russian Grand Duke Alexis Romanoff visited New Orleans during a Marti Gras celebration that was relatively somber and small (the Civil War had left its mark on New Orleans.)  Romanoff’s visit helped to move people’s attention away from the destruction, and in his honor a King (Rex) and Queen henceforth has been chosen to preside over the celebrations.

Not only were these new additional Freedom Riders beaten, but also those that came to their aid, including members of the U.S. Justice Department.  Many thought they were going to die that very day.  Americans were torn as they watched what transpired on national television. When news of this reached then-Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy, he called in Federal Marshals to the scene to protect the riders.  Martin Luther King, Jr. flew to Montgomery to form up a crowd to confront the mob, but wound up barricaded in a local church until Kennedy forced Governor Patterson to call in the police and National Guard.  The riders were released to lick their wounds and continue their journey of peaceful defiance, of hope and faith.

Krewes and Doubloons

Each float is put together by a “Krewe,” or organization with its own name, structure and membership.  Each Krewe has its own flair, which is interpreted in its floats, costumes and music style.  The larger and more famous Krewes hold their own special ball for its members to commemorate the festivities.

Multi-colored doubloons are thrown from the floats during the Mardi Gras parade, with different motifs chosen by each Krewe to commemorate their presence in the celebration.  This practice was started in the 1960’s.  Coins are date-stamped for the given year.  Because some Krewes have intricate workings done on the coins, many have become collector’s items.   The very first time doubloons were tossed in 1964, no date was stamped on the coins, making them both unique and valuable.

Because of Hurricane Katrina, tens of thousands of doubloons disappeared along with the homes storing them, causing the prices of these collectibles to soar.  Like the people who had to flee before the storm, they are slowly resurfacing, coming back into circulation, rejoining their past.

Upon arriving at Jackson, Mississippi, the Freedom Riders were arrested and jailed for two months, despite having not broken any laws.  But because of their efforts, word spread and hundreds came to Jackson to continue to steady march to New Orleans, to greater rights, to equal access under the law.  Over 300 people were jailed.  The Freedom Riders never made it to New Orleans, but their efforts forced President Kennedy to take a stand on Civil Rights, ushering in a new level of protection for those who had suffered injustice for over 350 years.  Despite efforts to silence them, the Freedom Riders had developed a new sense of Power.

The Zulu Krewe

The advent of the Civil Rights era allowed many African Americans to seek membership in previous all-white Krewes, to participate in the Mardi Gras parades.  It was tough to obtain membership for awhile, and in response the Zulu Krewe was formed, the very first African American Krewe in New Orleans.  If you can’t join them properly in the celebration, then make your own party even better…. Since then the Zulu Krewe has grown substantially in numbers and stature, participating in large numbers during Marti Gras, and raising funds year-round to help impoverished families get help, holiday gifts, and even college scholarships.

A painful past, a celebration today, a hope for tomorrow

Hurricane Katrina tore a wound through New Orleans almost five years ago, ripping up homes and lives, flooding the area with despair.  Although many New Orleans residents got out on buses, cars, trains and planes before the storm hit, the poorest remained to weather the storm.  Largely African American, many still bearing the financial and emotional burdens of the past, they huddled together while the winds pummeled them over and over.  Many thought they were going to die that very day, and we all know many did indeed perish from the storm.  The pain was made worse by a government lacking in timely response, while we all watched the tragedy unfold on national television.

We have a new, modern President, once again.  He got into office promising Change.  Hope.  To the people of the Lower 9th Ward, who are still, to this day suffering in substandard conditions, waiting for someone to help them rebuild their homes and lives, they simply want their lives back.  They want to celebrate Mardi Gras in joy and comfort.

As they say in New Orleans, they want once again to see the colors of Justice, Faith, and Power.

How many men are out there right now, wondering if this is the year, if they are with Ms. Right, if she would even say yes if they dared ask?  How many men are still assembling their courage, and waiting for that sign that it’s time…..

I am laying down the gauntlet, my male friends.  I am shouting from the rooftops for you to take that next step in life and commit.  I am holding up a sign, neon red, blinking and loud.  The sign says NOW.  Who will join me this Sunday, and start a wonderful new chapter in life?

This is my challenge.  This Valentine’s Day, I am proposing to my very lovely fiancée.  I want 1,000 men who have come to the realization that they are in committed relationships, who have wondered if this is the year, to decide. I would like 1,000 men to join me, and decide to propose to their beautiful, charming, enchanting, wonderful girlfriends, too.

Let’s all start that new life at the same time.  Together we will make this journey, lending support to each other when necessary, as only men can.  Are 1,000 bold and daring men ready to do this?

If you are teetering on the decision and want that sign, to know if your woman is the ONE, then here are 10 things you can consider.  But hurry, because you don’t have much time left before Sunday!

Signs you should propose to her:

1. Do you support each other even during difficult times? How was it when the money ran out and there were a lot of days left in the calendar before the next paycheck?  Did you talk each other through it, explaining that you both know the two of you will pull through together?
2. Do you look past today’s appearance? When you are looking less than your best game, does she accept your difficulty in figuring your ensembles out without the benefit of matching Garanimals tags?  Is she still arm-candy for you even when she is in sweats and sneakers, make up free and with a fresh pimple on her forehead?
3. Do you both have a strong sense of self-worth and ability? Are you both independently capable of figuring out how to support yourselves as free adults in the World?  Have you both lived on your own long enough to know you always can?
4. Do you both agree on finances? Do you trust each other’s decision-making abilities when it comes to money?  Can either of you make decisions about what to buy on a moderate scale without having to constantly confer with the other party, and do you uphold each other’s spending limits?
5. How do you feel in each other’s presence? Do you feel like a bigger man in her eyes than you know, deep-down, you really are?  Does she make you want to be a better man simply because you know she has every confidence in your abilities?
6. How do both of you get along with people of the same sex? Trust me, if other women seem to have overwhelming issues with your girlfriend, maybe it’s because they found a rotten apple in the barrel long before you did.   Women who have healthy relationships with peers likely have developed more balanced viewpoints of things in the World around them, including you.
7. Would you consider your mate “high maintenance?” I hate to use this term, because there is no simple definition for “high maintenance,” as it is all in the eye of the beholder. Does she (or you) require the presence of ongoing items, services or relationships that break from what you are willing to support in an ongoing manner?  How about if you both were living only on your income – do you comfortably feel either of you would let go of inessential items for the survival of the family?
8. How do the two of you treat those come across your life? Do either of you jump to rudeness with store employees when you feel you did not get a good deal, or do the two of you channel your inner Mother Theresa?  Do you scream at traffic, or gently move over in the lane to allow others by?  Does she enjoy the company of children, or cringe when they appear on the scene?  If the two of you have mastered your inner Tazmanian Devil, you are on a better path to treating each other with the courtesy, dignity and respect you both deserve.
9. Are there ghosts of relationships past? Make sure you both have soundly put your previous relationships in the past and left them there!  And I mean phone calls, Facebook friending, and lunches too!
10. Do you trust your mate around the opposite sex? Trust in each other being able to tame the libido around attractive members of the opposite sex is essential.  Healthy office flirting to make the atmosphere fun is one thing, but do you both believe the other knows where the line is drawn?  Can you talk about the relationships you are forming in life without worry you will get the Stink-Eye from your partner?

I am ready for this next, wonderful step in my life.  I have been ready for a long, long time.   Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know you will join me too.  And please pass this post on to everyone you know, all the single men with wonderful girlfriends, who deserve to have a ring put on it!

Samuel began speaking out in support of the working men and women of his day. He quickly became noticed by the Liberal Party, whose local leaders asked him to join.

Known as a voice of the people, Samuel eventually made his way into Parliament, where he continued championing labor issues and people’s rights. It didn’t take long for the plight of the English merchant sailor to arrive at his desk.

The Coffin Ships

They were called “coffin ships,” because so many poor souls had been dying on them as of late, leaving behind widows and orphans and broken families. Typically unseaworthy vessels, these ships were purchased literally from salvage yards (where they awaiting dismantling) by unscrupulous owners who had no intention of repairing them. Sailors who agreed to serve on board these floating wrecks typically knew nothing of the dangers until they were well out at sea. Concerned only with profits, these same ship owners heavily overburdened the ships then insured them against expected losses of cargo.

How seaworthy are you?

Are you trying to hold everything together in your life? Are you finding yourself increasingly trying to hide your cracking edifice from others, as burdens are piled on your shoulders well beyond your ability to stay afloat? We’re surrounded by what feels like a crumbling economy, continued layoffs, political discord being shouted from the rooftops, and natural disasters reminding us of the fragility of what we have. Does it feel like you’re waiting for that final issue to breach your life and sink you? You’re not alone, despite feeling like you are adrift without help…

Stress warning signs

Undue stress leads to not only mental unrest, but also physical symptoms in those suffering from it.   According to FamilyDoctor.org, personal signs that you may have reached (or exceeded limits) in what you can carry in life include:

1. Anxiety
2. Increased aches and pains in one’s back
3. Constipation or diarrhea
4. Depression
5. Fatigue
6. Headaches
7. Insomnia
8. Arguments with your significant other increase
9. Shortness of breath
10. Upset stomach
11. Weight gain or loss

Samuel’s fight for sailor safety

As you fill a ship with cargo, it sinks deeper into the water. Samuel pushed hard against the major shipping magnates, many of whom were also fellow members of Parliament, for increased safety for those sailors manning the ships. He demanded that a maximum cargo burden be determined for each ship, and a numbered line be painted on the hull, for all to plainly see when that upper limit was reached. No ship was to be filled such that this line went underwater.

In 1876, after shouting down the entire Parliament and shaking his fist in the face of the Speaker himself, Samuel Plimsoll managed to get a bill passed to require all ships have a visible line marking its maximum carrying capacity. This line became known as the Plimsoll Line, and today is known simply as the Water Line. Because ships move across waters of varying salinity levels and temperatures, this line can shift up or down, and ship owners are required to keep the changing conditions of their shipping lanes in mind when loading their vessels.

Do you know where your Water Line is?

So what is your personal Water Line? Have you figured it out yet? Do you know what changing stressors in your life can change how much personal load you can handle, and how to deal with them? Whether it is in our personal lives due to spouses, family or children, or at work with coworkers or bad working conditions, we all need to figure out ways to handle what we are given.    Remember that no matter your issues, someone somewhere is handling more than you – not because they are superhuman, but because they likely have developed coping mechanisms or techniques.  You can too…

How to move your personal water line

If you find yourself sinking due to feelings of being over-burdened, here are a few tips that may help you out.

1. Get out a piece of paper and write down your personal burdens.  Then write next to each whether or not you can control them.  Consider whether or not you should keep worrying about those things you can’t control, such as bad weather or a dropping stock market.
2. Order the list of issues from little to big.  Number them, and consider the first little problems on the list.  Tackling this one first will be easy, and provide a feeling of accomplishment that will help you with the others.
3. Take the bigger stressers, such as job interviews upcoming, and write down ways that you can prepare for them.  Use a formal calendar and write in times to prepare as best you can for these events.  Then move on.
4. The most troublesome of worries and stresses you have can be written down on a separate piece of paper, with some space.  Take some time to try and look at these issues from a variety of angles, not just your own.  Ask a friend to help you try and see these issues as challenges and not threats, and to see the value in the changes.
5. If you have issues with coworkers, family or friends, write down ways that you can slowly work toward resolving these conflicts.  Try the easier methods first and keep at it.
6. Talk.  I don’t care if it is a buddy, an uncle or aunt, a co-worker or boss, or a therapist.  Talk.  Social media can be therapeutic as well, as long as you have maintained some semblance of secrecy regarding your identity if the issue is very personal in nature, or you don’t want the issue to get out publicly.
7. Use that same calendar to put in what you are working on, your goals in life, whether it is at home or at work.  Block in time periods.  Learn to say no to others when you see that there are no more open time periods.  And don’t forget to block in times that you will be doing nothing but reading and relaxing.  Might seem odd at first, but pencil in time for a movie or latté.
8. Get a gym membership and actually use it.  Or buy some dumbells and go jogging.  But do it regularly.  Exercise is one of the best ways to relieve stress around.
9. Eat better and regularly.  Don’t skip breakfast, and you will see your energy level increase over the course of the entire day.  Oh, and get a little more sleep, already.  You look tired.  Seriously.
10. Spend some quiet time to simply close your eyes and meditate.  Let your mind wander free, and think about great things happening in your life.  Listen to soft music or sounds of nature CDs.
11. Belong to something outside of work, whether it be sports, a book club, church event or simply a hobby you have been meaning to take up.

Plimsoll Line Day

Today is Plimsoll Line Day, in honor of Samuel Plimsoll’s fight to save countless sailors from sure death.  Ship owners since have been reminded that there are things even more important than the loss of cargo.

It’s important to know your own personal limits, to know the signs of stress, and to figure out how to paint your own personal water line.  Don’t wait for others to fight on your behalf, while looking off into the worrisome, stormy future.  Test the waters, set your limits, and have a safe journey!

Oddly, if the second shot is worse than the first, the term for that is a Finnegan.  Why is there so much meaning behind Irish names?

We all built it, and they are coming (and asking some serious questions)

Twitter is still popular, because we made it so; but as more people step into social media, straighten themselves up after climbing the learning curve and look around, questions come up.  Newbies are beginning to ask why it is that some unknown guy in Pakistan who stopped tweeting 6 months ago has over 45,000 users, while they are fighting to come up with original multi-media content that connects them with their (average user follower base of) barely over 130 people?

Twitter’s errant first swing

Twitter’s been around for 4 years, and has proven to be one of the most successful social media networks in the World, with an estimated 10,000,000 users interacting with each other.  It’s incredible simplicity in design has allowed for its growth to be directed organically by its many users.

Because of the desire to keep things open, a number of abusive practices have occurred on Twitter over time, and we have simply grown used to them while we say “hello” and “how are you” and “I can lick my own elbow” with our friends…

The stranger behemoths - We’ve all seen these guys.  They stomp around on Twitter with their insanely huge followership, but don’t say anything of value.  They’ve developed and played systems designed to artificially inflate their numbers, rather than earn it through making comments people actually appreciate.  To them, it’s all about the big, shiny rodeo belt buckle…  We are not impressed.  Planning to cash in those followers for some cold, hard cash someday?

There are tens of thousands of Twitter accounts held by these otherwise unknowns that have for years driven up their numbers by auto-following a thousand people daily, and unfollowing those that did not automatically follow back.  The process is repeated daily, as Twitter allows for up to 1,000 follows a day.  How daunting it must be to a new Twitterer to see these large, lumbering beasts of false renown!  And how frustrating to see how hard it is to quickly connect far and wide.

The recommended list - Newbies upon account creation are provided a list of celebrities, authors, chefs, social media mavens, sports figures, former MTV spotlight-mongers and whatnot that Twitter has hand-picked as desirable to begin with, to simply get the conversation started.  Although I’m not sure how much @sockamillion the cat will actually listen to what’s happening in your life, and stop to chat with you.

There’s an issue with the Recommended List.  Many on its occupants don’t necessarily tend to follow or talk back to all the newbies coming in, so no conversations really get started by following them.  C’mon, someone with 450,000 followers and 147 follows simply isn’t going to talk with you, even if your avatar is completely naked and you’re smokin’ hot.  Okay, maybe he’ll follow you. Being on this list can also inflate one’s numbers in a fairly rapid manner, with no actual social work required.

The auto-bots – If you joined Twitter in the last year, you got your share of Britney porn-bots, and blocked dozens of them on an almost monthly basis.  Businesses began monitoring tweets using the search feature or creating monitoring systems.  If you so much as mentioned Starbucks, you got a follow from them.  If you talked about how much you loved chocolate, Ghirardelli showed up as a follow.  If you say you can lick your own elbow, there’s this woman in Milwaukee that will start coming on to you…  Sorry Sadie, but someone had to say something. It’s getting embarassing.  So please stop DMing me.

Anyway, the gist of what I’m saying is that if you are new, there are many who came long before you and have found ways to gain vast followerships, and they drive those Cadillac accounts around town proudly, tooting that horn and shouting “Orálé!”  I have no idea what that means.  They also try to sell you their SEO-Godlike “proven techniques” for gaining a following, despite knowing they used a below-the-counter method to gain theirs.

Twitter has done quite a bit lately to tone down this activity.  They’ve recently shut down open account access to applications that allow you to bulk auto-follow and auto-unfollow users, so you will never be able to game the system like that guy in Pakistan (and so many others) previously did.

But what to do about those people that already bulked up their accounts artificially? Hmmmm…..

Should Twitter get a Mulligan?

I’ve seen posts begin to emerge asking if Twitter should have a Mulligan of its own. Should @Ev and @Jack and the other folks who brought us this wonderful means of sharing rich multi-media simply hit the reset button?  How would things look if everybody, from the new guy with 28 followers to the social media moguls with over 4,000,000 lost all their connections, overnight?  What if all the follows and the followers disappeared, and we all had to start over from scratch?

Oh, it sounds enticing, doesn’t it?  Or downright scary.  Some reading this have already peed a little in their undies.  Sorry. As you can see, @socksamillion is not happy with this concept. The stranger behemoths would lose all of their fine work, and may even have to resort to tweeting again.  The celebrities to be sure would see their following return again, fans being what they are.  You might see the auto-bots more readily if all you had were 200 followers for awhile…  And it would be difficult to pretend I was a social media powerhouse if all had were 137 followers, and those “proven” techniques I previously bragged over and over about to “connect” and “gain a following” seemed to be missing the mark…

Those that honestly worked hard to obtain their following would see all of their fine work lost overnight, and to me that seems to be such a waste, a great hardship to bear for them.  I’m sure they deserve their following, and to reap the benefit of these relationships built over time.  So how does Twitter allow for a more even playing field, while allowing those legitimate hard Tweeters to keep their social media structures?  I’ll explain a possible method in a moment…

My Personal Twitter Mulligan

Last Friday, I broke a big Twitter rule.  I jumped off the online cliff.  I did a crazy thing.  I thumbed my nose and flew in the face of 4-year-old Twitter conventions.  Just what terrible catastrophe did I willingly wreak upon my social media existence?

I announced to my followers that I’m going to drop my old Twitter account.  That’s right, I am starting over, and have informed my 3,400 followers. Yes, a whopping 3,400.  LOL. Those of you who are social media heavyweights with 200,000+ followers, you can stop your snickering now. I created a whole new Twitter username.  And avatar.  And background image.  As the social media pundits call it, I am de-”brand”-ing.  Woot.  Can you hear the crickets in the background? Skreek, skreek, skreek…

To be sure, I am not starting over completely from scratch.  I’ve invited everyone who wants to follow me over in this transition to please do so.  A handful did so almost immediately.  Because I took the advice of Twitter heavyweights, I previously used an auto-follow feature with my old account, and had to meticulously pour through my reciprocated 3,500 follows.  I chose 500 to follow with my new account, and sent out a general invite.  It’s a joy to see what these amazing people have to say without the distractions of others selling me something, asking me if my teeth are white enough, or trying to show off their thong.  Okay, I think I saved her, but she is really nice, and is a Democrat…

The process has been humbling, to say the least.  By doing this, I have found out who is actually listening to me, appreciates what I have to say, and wishes to continue interacting with me.  I’m giving a full week for the process, and plan to continue the invitations between now and then.  When i formally close down my old account this coming Friday, I will be dumping almost 3,000 businesses, porn accounts, SEO “Gods,” serial RTers, stranger behemoths, recommended favorites, auto-bots and more generally people who continued following me only because I auto-followed them back.  To me, it’s the equivalent of leaving the huge ballroom, drink in hand, and inviting the pretty girl to step outside on the balcony, into the fresh night air…

Twitter 2.0

I believe the discussion about a Twitter reset has a lot of merit, and wish there were an environment where we can take all of our lessons learned and begin anew, all from scratch.  I also understand the need to reward those that worked hard for their current following.

Here’s how to keep both intact…  Twitter could:

• Purchase another URL, like http://www.twittertoo.com
• Load Twitter’s code on this new place.
• Usernames in Twitter.com are automatically reserved in Twittertoo.com, so people won’t have to worry about losing their cool Twitter name suddenly, and people won’t be able to pretend they are @aplusk in the new environment just ’cause they got there first.
• Twitter.com will stay up, and people can continue to stay there if they please, glaring at the lumbering giants or blocking the spambots.
• In Twittertoo.com, everyone begins with zero follows and followers from the start.  Develop your connections as you normally would.
• People may go to Twitter.com and invite their followers to follow them to Twittertoo.com
• Bulk transferring of follows and followers from Twitter to Twittertoo will not be provided for or allowed in the coding process.
• There will be no recommended lists.  Find people on your own, dude, or provide everyone 20 randomly chosen people from a survey of what their interests are.
• The new partnerships with desktop apps like Tweetdeck will be controlled through closer partnerships and monitoring.  No open authorization for reciprocal follower websites.
• No bulk-following or auto-following, to remove the incentive for stranger behemoths, auto-bots and spammers.
• We must approve our followers by manually clicking an approval button.

I believe that by Twitter asking us for a Mulligan, and using careful new controls, those who make the move to this new and improved Twitter environment will find many people there working hard to develop relationships, same as in the old Twitter.  And they will enjoy the new quiet as the spammers and behemoths stay in the old environment, working their dark, evil magic.

Those that worked hard to achieve their merited following will be able to invite their following to successfully follow them over.   If they don’t all move over, then they weren’t listening anyway, right?  C’mon, how about a reality check?  Prove your cinnamoney sweet SEO magic works.

I believe celebrities, legitimate news providers, wonderful personalities and individuals of renown will see the same large tide of followers vying to interact with them, sharing their tweets with others and enjoying the social media realm.  People with little to say will still not “get it” and have a limited following.  Social media flowers will blossom, just as they did in Twitter, version 1.0

Until then, I will send my invites out to my new account, and enjoy all of the wonderful people who have joined me in the cool, night air…  Let’s hope that I didn’t pull a Finnegan…

You can humor and follow me at @kapito on Twitter.  I’ll find you pretty easily, trust me…

I’m sure by now you’ve read the story about how a bunch of people on January 20th of this year agreed to go to work without their pants.  I’m not going to actually suggest you bring on the Full Monty this time around.  Rather, I thought this would be a good time to discuss exposing yourself emotionally and professionally.  I’m talking about honesty.

We spend our workdays adrift in a sea of financial uncertainty, often leaving our very financial futures in the hands of a cast of varied characters assembled by our higher-ups.  Where we work is often little more than an organized group of competing, individualistic, and emergingly symbiotic relationships.  That’s a fancy way of saying it’s dog-eat-dog sometimes, and frankly I stopped trying to be the Alpha Male in the pack a long time ago…  Wow.  That picture needs a little cropping, doesn’t it?  Stop looking already…

Honesty in the workplace.  It’s one of the most difficult environments to create in such a field of competing egos, inflamed in a hard economy.  Many of us don’t like to have ourselves laid bare at work, open to questions from anyone, naked to constructive criticism.  But if you can figure out a way to develop a more nakedly honest office, you and your coworkers will be a lot happier, and productivity will actually increase.

After my obligatory in-depth research involving a quick and dirty 5-minute Google search, followed by reading 5 whole articles by other people with a lot more knowledge than I. (I know, I know, I work hard for you, I really do…) I came up with a few suggestions.  Read on as you strip down at your desk.  I’ll beat-box that boom-chicka-boom music for you, quietly so I don’t bother the guy in the next cubicle…

Never withhold information

You return after a 2-week vacation in Italy, tanned from the Tuscan sun, ready to tell everyone about your wine-and-laughter-filled experience, when you are called into a staff meeting. As you sit and sip your stinky American coffee, you realize that your coworkers and boss are head-long in implementing what you know to be a horrible idea. Whatever it is, was tried long before, and you know why it failed miserably. As that happy Italiany smile begins to melt from your face and your toes begin to curl up in your loafers, do you sit still and keep your mouth shut, or say something?

Being naked at work means never purposefully withholding information from your boss or coworkers, whether to make the situation seem better or to get along with what seems like a popular idea. You will have to bare it all and raise that hand and clear your throat. Take the time to explain fully your company’s past experience with this idea, and why it failed. With your new office nudity, also be ready to accept if conditions have changed, and the environment might be ripe to try that old idea again…

Never fake illness

It’s Monday, and as the alarm clock plays Achy Breaky Heart at a volume level designed to utilize sound waves to catapult the sheets off your warm body, you contemplate feigning the sniffles.  Get up, Stupid.  Let me paint a picture of you later that day hiding just inside the entrance of Victoria’s Secret, huddled under the colorful thong shelf with shopping bags crammed under your knees, your newly-spilled caramel latté next to you on the floor.  As your boss wanders in to check out the racey laceys, your cell phone begins to ring with your oft-played-at-the-office Jay-Z ringtone, as your mother calls you back to ask why you hung up so quickly.

Are you prepared to lose your job just because you need (or want) to run a few errands?   Yes, I know you work through your breaks and sip down a cup o’ soup at your desk half the time during lunch, but use some of that built-up comp time or take a short vacay in order to complete the things you need to do during work hours.  Naked honesty can be hard sometimes, especially when you know your coworkers are not as forthwith in their days off.  You can do it, and you will feel better about  yourself in the long run…

Don’t hide problems

You have a deadline staring at you from the shelf to your right.  It’s right by that plant that jerk of an ex-boyfriend gave you last month.  You know, the little once-green Dieffenbacchia you don’t water much anymore, a chlorophyllic voodoo doll held captive to your crumbling, roller-coaster emotional state.  If you don’t think you are going to meet a deadline, get your newly-naked self up and make an appointment with your boss.  Let him or her know when you are not going to meet a deadline, no matter how big or small the project is.

Letting your boss know of an impending missed deadline and the issues related to it says you care about the work needing to be done.  You might wind up getting others to help you, or a more respectful boss with a greater understanding of the issues involved with your work.  On the flip side, if your boss has to remind you that a deadline has come and gone, you will likely already look in his or her eyes as a procrastinator, or plain forgetful.  Lump that in with the Victoria’s Secret fiasco, and you might find yourself walking the pavement for another job…

Stop the gossip already

Did you hear that John had an affair?  Did you know that Susan got a breast enlargement?  Did you hear that David has a file cabinet filled with Army C Rations and Ensure, in case the world ends and he is trapped in the office? Did you?

There are few habits more pernicious and hurtful in a workplace than gossip.  I know it is hard sometimes to turn your back on the newest issue of the Daily Whisper, because it helps to pass the time, it brings certain high-and-mighty coworkers to their knees for your amusement, and it makes your problems seem more distant.

Stop with the office gossip, beginning with yourself.  Check the “evil tongue” at the door, and allow people their privacy. No matter how juicy a tidbit of information about a coworker appears, sharing it will only tarnish your reputation as well.

Tell Mrs. Wormwood Slipperytongue to take her business elsewhere, because you are no longer buying.  And develop that long-term relationship with David, because 2012 is just around the corner, and C Rations have significantly improved over the  years, especially the canned shredded turkey in gravy…

Share the nudity

If your company doesn’t hold scheduled staff meetings, then suggest it to your boss.  Invite everyone, no matter on what level they work.  Call in the delivery people, mailroom guy, secretaries, mid-managers, and that cute barista in the lobby who always asks you if you want whipped cream on it with that devilish smile.   (Note to my very lovely fiancée — This is a purely fictional character, and in no way is an indication of my interactions with people in or near my office.  I haven’t had a latté since that incident with the boss at Victoria’s Secret!)

Major corporations, including Google, Inc., find weekly to be a good frequency for getting everyone together. For many offices, this is a monthly evolution. No matter how often you meet, make it a point to stick with that frequency, no matter what.  Believe it or not, there are people who look forward to the next meeting, and they aren’t all axe-grinders.

Staff meetings must be a place where anything can be asked by anyone.  Management is informed beforehand that they must answer to the best of their ability, but within reason and corporate policy. This open environment, where your very own pet projects might get discussed in front of everyone else, will seem a bit awkward at first. Having Sean, who spends hours daily outside the back door on his cell phone with that hooker from Phoenix, ask you to state why it’s taking you four months to create that dynamic list of business contacts based on zip code and shoe size might leave you red-faced afterward.

Eventually things will improve, as everyone in the office begins to make decisions with an eye toward how their actions will look to everyone else.  Maybe Sean will find a way to break it off before Mrs. Slippertongue calls and lets his wife know the 411.

Bare naked evaluations

Employee evaluations ought to be honest and up-front.  An employee’s areas for improvement must be discussed. Maybe you think if you simply gloss over his answering of the office phone with the catchy phrase “Yo,” your employee-friend Alex will keep playing squash with you on Sunday mornings at the Y.  Maybe your real problem is an inability to genuinely connect with anyone, so you can’t make friends anywhere except by cornering the people who have to spend 8 hours with you each day of the week.  The people who rely on you for their rent money.  Hmm.  I dunno.

Being nakedly honest during evaluations and covering those areas needing improvement may seem scary, especially if that person is a high performer, but it’s needed both for you and the employee. If you don’t tell the employee what’s wrong and how to improve, they will spend yet another year making the same mistake, and ultimately productivity (or office morale) can suffer.   Other employees may think you’re playing favorites.  You might simply avoid the issue by giving important jobs to other workers, creating even more tension between you and the problem employee. This could result in your employee quitting or complaining, causing greater disunity in the workplace.  And nobody to play squash with.

Those are my suggestions for being naked at work today and every day.  Print it out and slide it under your boss’ door during today’s lunch hour.  He’s probably at Victoria’s Secret again right now anyhow.  And if you like this story, go ahead and share it far and wide.  Then send me your shoe size, ’cause I gotta finish this stupid customer database before the next staff meeting…

I’ll stop sucking on the sour grapes, but it’s been 5 hours since the video was launched via live stream from Seesmic’s website, and I’m still looking for a rebroadcast of it somewhere.   I look forward to another chance to see what Loic has to say about his team’s new product…

I have downloaded Look and have run it through its paces, and until the video is made available, I’ll simply focus on the mechanics of the interface.

The download is pretty quick from Seesmic’s servers, and is a desktop client, to be installed on your machine.  After an easy install I started things up, and used my Twitter account information in the login boxes at top of the intro screen.

Right off the bat, I saw a pretty menu on the left-hand side, my avatar atop, and a cool, dreamy bubbly effect going on, as trending topics melted in and out of view, calling silently to me to click on one…

Navigation

Look has an integrated back-arrow that appears as you move through the nested menus.  Choose something from the menu, and the sub-menu appears with the changed interface, along with the arrow to navigate you back where you started.  Looks and operates very smoothly..

The middle of the screen transitions depending on where you are in the interface, and the very right-hand side is reserved for commonly-used twitter functions such as profile viewing, replying, direct messaging, retweeting and favorite-ing.  There is also a button to view a user’s tweet stream, something you typically see in a profile view.

Trends

The default view after login is the Trends section, which displays an additional sub-menu for trending topics on Twitter now, for the day as a whole, and for the week in general.  Very pretty blue bubbles fade in, and the trending topics form on the screen (see image left.)

Click on a topic topic box, and it will show you a timeline of tweets now on it (see image above.)  You can easily scroll through them, and the boxes are very big and very easy to read; however you are limited to only 3 – 4 tweets at a time, depending on screen resolution.  (I can resolve about 5-6 with my 23″ screens by stretching out to full-screen.) To reply or retweet, click on a showcased tweet and use the icon menu on the right.

Inbox

The next choice is the Twitter message Inbox, where you can see all of the @replies you received on Twitter, in the same very pretty manner.  I do see an issue with only having just over 2 tweets show up, and believe Look should have a slider available to let you scale down the size of the tweet boxes, so you can see more of them at one time.  Seesmic founder Loic Le Meur said he wanted to create an interface his mother could use, but the huge boxes seem to me to be the social media equivalent of shouting at Grandma so she can hear…

Again, to respond, choose a tweet box and use the Twitter-like menu icons on the right-hand side.  Left-hand sub-menus allow you to move on to direct messages and sent items (public Twitter replies.)

When retweeting, the newer (and controversial) non-commenting retweet function of Twitter is replicated by Look.  So when you highlight a tweet to share with your followers and choose to retweet, you will see a new box with the tweet, and a confirmation to retweet it, but no ability to add your own commentary.  This feature is almost universally worked around in Twitter clients, and I do hope Look fixes their limited retweet function as well…

Social

The social link puts your friends stream front and center, alongside a sub-menu for your lists.  this is kind of nice, as you can jump around quite easily.

This feature in itself makes the lists feature a bit more fun to use than in Twitter itself.  The giant tweets tend to overlay the names of the lists, however, an issue that needs to be fixed soon…

As with other screens, click on a list to see tweets from them, and the Twitter icon menus are on the right-hand side.

The A-Z and Playback (TV) buttons

The default method of seeing tweets in your stream is the Timeline view, which is represented at the top of your stream by the little clock icon, and provides tweets in a chronological order.  Swap over to the A-Z view, and it will show you tweets in your stream based on alphabetizing by username.  Playback mode gives you the cool and dreamy (not in my opinion not overly useful) bubbling effect of tweets coming in.  I will likely stick to the default Timeline view…

Profiles

To see the profile of anyone on your screen, simply click on their latest tweet and choose the profile icon on the right-hand side.  It’s the top one (you have to put your mouse over them to see what the icons are for.)

The profile shows up in a pretty box, showing their Twitter avatar, name, username, website, biography, how many followers they have and how many are following them.  There is a follow/unfollow button, and a place where you can favorite them or add to a Twitter list.

Where this falls short from Twitter is the ability to click and see just WHO they are following are are being followed by.  In fact, there is no “jump to their Twitter profile” button anywhere in the Look profile section.  I have to leave Look to find that sort of information out, which is disappointing.  Don’t make me leave your interface, because it makes me feel a twinge of guilt…

Another way to see a tweeter’s profile, is to simply click on their avatar in the stream.  This will take you to a view in Look that includes both their latest stream of commentary and customized Twitter background.  It is a pretty view, and you get to see around 4 tweets at a time without scrolling (I got 7 with maximum screen resolution.)

Favorites

One nice (and eminently usable) feature is the ability to save not only favorite tweets, but also favorite people, so you can easily return and sneak peeks at the streams of your favorite follow.  This ability shows up when you are looking at a tweeter’s profile using either profile view method.  Viewing your favorite people is under the Favorites menu, where you also get to view your saved Favorite tweets.

You are only allowed to view one favorite person’s twitter stream at a time.  If you want to see all in a group, then simply add them to a list and view the list’s stream, same as on Twitter.

Interests

Ah, we are getting to something very interesting and unique to Look.  It’s the Interests section.  Click on the link, and you will be provided 14 different categories of topics, including News, Entertainment, Business and Technology.  Click on any of these topics, and a live stream shows up with tweets related to it.

I chose Technology as a sub-menu item, and received yet another sub-menu, with 28 different larger providers of technology information on Twitter.  I’m unsure as to the method used to choose them, but they are certainly desirable providers…  By default you get all technology-related providers’ tweets, but you can choose a single provider by clicking on it.  I chose the Huffington Post Tech, and am including a screenshot for you of the tweets.

Channels

Another feature of Look is the development of channels by major providers of content.  Read here – Branding.  Again, I am unsure as to the method Seesmic used to choose who gets into the interface.

Out of the variety of Twitter-based content providers on Look, I chose to sneak a glance at the Life Channel, and got the @Life stream, same as it shows up on Twitter, replete with their background.  You can also choose their celebrity, animals, sports, travel or news streams to view.

Channels is not as unique a feature as the Interests section, as I can always visit @Life on Twitter whenever I want and see the same thing, but we’ll see who this develops over time.  I have a feeling most brands will work within Twitter and Facebook for their needs, and allow clients like Look to just pick up and use their feeds if desired.

Searches

The final link allows you to perform searches on Twitter using Look.  Type in the box labelled Search at the top right of the interface, and click on the search button that magically appears.  I chose to type in the name of this blog, Dopodomani.  Go ahead and say it, I’m vain…  I know.

The results show up in a Twitter stream, as we are used to seeing in other applications and clients.  Unfortunately, you are not given the option to save your search, which would’ve been nice to have, and is widely available in other clients.  I often perform the same searches over and over, so could we have this soon?

First-shot assessment

Seesmic Look has billed as a Twitter tool for those who are not “Power Users,” to provide a simpler, prettier interface for the more casual social media individual.  At first glance, Look merely hints at what the user should do next, without actual instruction on the screen.  I had to feel my way through Look by actually clicking around the interface, which is how a “power user” tends to get around in new digs.  Although Look’s environment is rich and beautiful (and shows a great deal of promise,) I am left wondering if this truly is an easier environment for the casual user than Twitter itself.

I do hope this takes off for Seesmic, and provides a first-step for casual users.  I also hope it brings many times more users to the Twitter environment.  I love the people I meet, and hope to be able to interface with many, many more.  I don’t think I’ll be using Look very often (as it was not designed to help me,) but I do think that I should be giving Seesmic Desktop another glance or two soon…

Steve Woods

@_stevewoods

Ahead is the cleanup, and how to help over 2 million Chileans affected for some time to come.  What will be needed, and how long will it take to get help to them after the widespread need is figured out?

Whether from terrorism or Mother Nature, disasters will continue to strike, and coordinated efforts will be required, in the news, on television and radio, and yes – here in social media.

USING SOCIAL MEDIA’S POWER TO PREPARE FOR A TRAGEDY

Although social media allows all of us to demonstrate some level of influence, the greater power has always been in the sharing of our ideas freely.  So what ideas are out there that would allow a person, group or organization to stick their proverbial toes in the social media waters, and make a big a ripple helping others in the event of another disaster?

Here are a few methods to prepare and act, broken down based on whether you are a regular person, business or organization, or the very government representing all of us.  I’ve used war-time examples (semi tongue-in-cheek) to demonstrate how we all can show our uniquely American social media style of helping others around the World, on all levels, when tragedy strikes.

ONE PERSON – GROWING A SOCIAL MEDIA VICTORY GARDEN

If you are just a “regular guy” you may be unsure as to what you can do to help, especially in light of seeing what all of the support larger companies, organizations, governments and non-profits are providing.  But there are little things you can do on your own turf, the equivalent of growing your own little “Victory Garden” during times of crisis…

1. Talk to the boss – Talk to your employer about putting together a social media campaign (see below, If You Are a Business.)  Offer your services to put together and direct the campaign when asked to do so.
2. Go local - Raise money at your local level. Hold bake sales at work, school, or place of worship.  Ask your neighborhood to hold one big yard sale.  Print out and hand out flyers encouraging neighbors to participate and donate.
3. Blog about it – Put together a blog and post your own unique viewpoint about the tragedy, and tell them what you are doing to help.  Read the blogs of others writing about the tragedy, and thank them for taking the time.
4. Letters to the editor - Write your local newspaper and encourage your entire city to do something.
5. Use your social media account - Tweet and retweet, write Facebook updates, share on MySpace.  Repeat.

CELEBRITIES! ELVIS DID IT – WHY CAN’T YOU?

It takes a war-level effort to overcome major tragedies in the World. One of the biggest periods of recruitment during any historic war we’ve been involved with, was after a major celebrity put their hat in the ring too.  Are you a celebrity or social media persona? Do you have tons of followers who actually listen to what you have to say?  During times of crisis, it is incumbent on you to use your much louder voice to reach out to others as an example.

1. Just talk about it - You have a ton of followers, and they love what you have to say.  Whether or not you have embraced the celebrity nomenclature and all that comes with it, you are in the public eye, even in social media.  Take the time to tweet and retweet messages of encouragement and support.  Share on all your social media network accounts often.
2. School your followers – Find great sources of information regarding the background of the region and its peoples, and share the links with your fans.  If you have first-hand knowledge of the location where the tragedy took place, use this knowledge to add support to your concerns.  An incredible example of this is @Alyssa_Milano who has travelled far and wide in support of others nations during tragedies.  She is friendly, knowledgeable and accessible.
3. Donate a portion of your proceeds – If you are an artist with an upcoming CD, or a movie maker with something out there in theaters, donate a portion of sales.  Fine examples of this are @JoshCharles, @BillZucker and @AriaaJaeger who are all donating a portion of the proceeds of their new CDs right now .  There are so many of you who could join in! Many of you (such as @kirstiealley) humbly keep the majority of your donating activities a secret, and I commend you for that.  But if advertising your philanthropic activities will boost sales (and therefore donations) you might want to reconsider in this case…
4. Create a storefront - Have you considered taking the lead from celebrities such as @MarielHemingway and creating an Etsy storefront?  It’s easy to do, and allows you to generate an income from selling simple items.  Etsy takes care of everything for you, including marketing and sales.  You simply collect a check! Make it known that all proceeds will go to charity, and see if people are interested in buying t-shirts or coffee mugs with your own mug on them. You have nothing to lose…
5. Sold to the highest bidder! – Find a major non-profit relief organization, and setup a partnership with them.  Ask the non-profit to establish a donation account code for the donations you personally bring to them.  Then when a tragedy occurs, take a photo of and offer up something one-of-a-kind to your followers, to the person who donates the most to your chosen non-profit using that special code.  Ask the non-profit to track and provide you the name, email address and Twitter username of the person who donated the most using that code, so you can contact the winner directly.  Tweet out the username and congratulate them!  What a thrill for your fans!

ORGANIZATIONS AND BUSINESSES: JOIN THE ALLIED FORCES!

During any major world-changing event, it has taken the combined ingenuity and support of American business (and their employees) to be victorious.  They have the shared, larger resources, ongoing consumer base, mailing distribution lists, telephone networks and web presences worldwide.  Why shouldn’t they continue to be a partner in the efforts to combat a tragedy somewhere in the World?

1. Turn off the block and turn on the love - You have employees, and many of them are on social media. Provide your employees an email or printed sheet with recommended messages of encouragement and support, or links to resources (including your own.)  Turn off the company block on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter for a week, and let your employees freely take time during their breaks or lunch hours to tweet and retweet these messages and others they find online.  Encourage them to take one post of their blogs and say something about what they are doing at work, and let them write the post during office hours…
2. Fundraising can begin at the office - Arrange for office fundraisers and support the staff in taking the time to put something grand together and develop interest.  Let the copiers or printers to be used (within reason.)  Letting your employees do something helps remove the sense of helplessness they may have as they read the news, which ultimately will help with productivity in the longrun…
3. Get the message out – Use some of those terrabytes of webspace you’ve got to highlight the tragedy, what your office is doing, how proud your company is of its efforts and employees, and what your customers can do to help.  Add a nice banner ad on the main page of your site to take people there so they can see what you are up to, and can suggest other methods to you…  Send links to the page everywhere using your newly-enabled employees!
4. Collect a Twitter Dollar - Does your business ever collect an extra buck from your customers, have them write a short message and put a little piece of colorful paper on the storefront in support of something?   If your business has a social media account (and it had better,) perform the social media equivalent.  In your stores collect that same dollar, and ask your customers to include their Twitter username on the paper.  Create a method for your store managers to send that info to corporate, so your social media people can tweet out a personalized thank you, including the donor’s Twitter username, so others on Twitter can also thank them for their donation. I will call this the Twitter Dollar concept.
5. Tweet, damnit! - Use your company’s social media account to provide hyperlinks to places to donate, to thanks others for their fine work, and what you are doing to help out.  Make sure your company has a plan for the social media maven (or mensch) to keep your followers alerted and engaged.
6. Make your customers into mini-philanthropists – Create a method for your customers to donate to help those suffering from the tragedy, simply by doing what they do anyway – purchasing from your store.  You pay people in Marketing to figure this sort of stuff out, and if they aren’t doing that good of a job, contact me and I’ll help you figure something out!  One fine example is to create a 10% off coupon offer and place it freely available online.  Tweet out a link to this coupon far and wide and ask others to retweet.  Customers who present this coupon at time of purchase are offered the chance to donate as much of that 10% savings as they’d like to your company’s efforts to help the victims of the tragedy.
7. Buddy up with the bigwigs – Discover who the social media heavy hitters are, and contact them.  They know their networks and how to communicate with their followers.  They’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. Ask their advice on what else you can do to get the word out and help alleviate the effects of the tragedy.  Ask if they would work with your company to get the word out.  In exchange for this service, you could offer to highlight them for their help on your webpage.  It’s win-win…
8. Integrate it all - This is where a social media position at your company helps.  Keep a running tally of donations from your coupon offer and Twitter dollars on that great new webpage you’ve created.  Tweet out milestones and encourage others to help with each status update.  Take photos of your employees working hard to help those in need and use a photo sharing service to highlight them.  Keep track of what works and use it over and over…

GOVERNMENTS: IT’S TIME FOR THE SOCIAL MEDIA MARSHALL PLAN

The Office of Social Media Relations – I ask federal, local and state governments to consider the creation of their own Office for Social Media Relations (OSMR).  Work together to create a Social Media Marshall Plan, to provide helpful information freely to help businesses, organizations and individuals create and maintain social media marketing campaigns with the sole purpose of helping others  in need.  Develop and maintain state and federal websites with best practices used, helpful documentation, and examples.  Invite people to follow your OSMR on Twitter, Facebook or MySpace in order to receive word when a tragedy strikes, and how they can help.

I invite a newly formed Federal OSMR to provide a website where individuals, businesses and organizations can register their contact information for the purpose of partnering to help in the event of a tragedy such as Haiti using their own social media accounts.  Everyone will be offered downloadable help in creating their own Social Media Marshall Plans.  Allow the registrants to state whether they are willing to help with tragedies affecting others on a local, state, or national level (or all of the above.)

When something terrible happens, the Federal, State or Local OSMR will send a groupmail to its registrants, depending on the level of the tragedy.  Organizations will be asked to implement their own newly-created Social Media Marshall Plan to get the word out and to help.  OSMR will continue to contact and coordinate efforts in the most desirable and efficient manner, whether it be asking for money to be donated, clothing and blankets, or even transportation.

Like a ripple, the word would them move outward quickly, and in an organized manner….  From there, social media users would push the word out further in an organic manner.  Blog posts would be written, employees will see blocks to social media lifted, businesses will begin fundraising campaigns, and we can all work together as proud Americans, battling to help others once again.

Because of organized efforts of businesses and non-profits, millions of dollars have been raised quickly since the Haiti tragedy not so long ago.  People on Facebook and Twitter have made their friends and followers aware of simple $5 or $10 text message donation campaigns.  And what’s easier than sending a text message?

I give a thousand shoutouts to the many nonprofits and celebrities tweeting to others and encouraging them to donate whatever they could.  I bow before those that continue this effort to this day, realizing the enormity of the plight of those in Haiti (and now Chile,) and that it will take more than the millions of dollars already donated.

Haiti and Chile need much, much more than what has given thus far.  It is up to our government, businesses, and people like you on social media to continue the interest, and to find novel new (yet simple) ways for people to donate and get involved in helping as Winter continues for those people affected by the quakes.  It is also incumbent on those of us with the ability to do so, to create a Social Media Marshall Plan, in order to be ready for whatever tragedy the future holds.  We’re waiting to be organized.  You showed the path to using social media to get into office, @barackobama.  Now show us you remain committed to directing our new “Virtual Nation” to help others!

I encourage you to share this article with all of your local, state and federal government officials, corporations and organizations you find in social media, and your friends. Tweet our leaders and demand they read this post!

- Steve Woods