I’m sure by now you’ve read the story about how a bunch of people pick a day in January to go to work without their pants.  I’m not going to actually suggest you bring on the Full Monty this time around.  Rather, I thought this would be a good time to discuss exposing yourself emotionally and professionally.  I’m talking about honesty.

We spend our workdays adrift in a sea of financial uncertainty, often leaving our very financial futures in the hands of a cast of varied characters assembled by our higher-ups.  Where we work is often little more than an organized group of competing, individualistic, and emergingly symbiotic relationships.  That’s a fancy way of saying it’s dog-eat-dog sometimes, and frankly I stopped trying to be the Alpha Male in the pack a long time ago…  Wow.  That picture needs a little cropping, doesn’t it?  Stop looking already…

Honesty in the workplace.  It’s one of the most difficult environments to create in such a field of competing egos, inflamed in a hard economy.  Many of us don’t like to have ourselves laid bare at work, open to questions from anyone, naked to constructive criticism.  But if you can figure out a way to develop a more nakedly honest office, you and your coworkers will be a lot happier, and productivity will actually increase.

After my obligatory in-depth research involving a quick and dirty 5-minute Google search, followed by reading 5 whole articles by other people with a lot more knowledge than I. (I know, I know, I work hard for you, I really do…) I came up with a few suggestions.  Read on as you strip down at your desk.  I’ll beat-box that boom-chicka-boom music for you, quietly so I don’t bother the guy in the next cubicle…

Never withhold information

You return after a 2-week vacation in Italy, tanned from the Tuscan sun, ready to tell everyone about your wine-and-laughter-filled experience, when you are called into a staff meeting. As you sit and sip your stinky American coffee, you realize that your coworkers and boss are head-long in implementing what you know to be a horrible idea. Whatever it is, was tried long before, and you know why it failed miserably. As that happy Italiany smile begins to melt from your face and your toes begin to curl up in your loafers, do you sit still and keep your mouth shut, or say something?

Being naked at work means never purposefully withholding information from your boss or coworkers, whether to make the situation seem better or to get along with what seems like a popular idea. You will have to bare it all and raise that hand and clear your throat. Take the time to explain fully your company’s past experience with this idea, and why it failed. With your new office nudity, also be ready to accept if conditions have changed, and the environment might be ripe to try that old idea again…

Never fake illness

It’s Monday, and as the alarm clock plays Achy Breaky Heart at a volume level designed to utilize sound waves to catapult the sheets off your warm body, you contemplate feigning the sniffles.  Get up, Stupid.  Let me paint a picture of you later that day hiding just inside the entrance of Victoria’s Secret, huddled under the colorful thong shelf with shopping bags crammed under your knees, your newly-spilled caramel latté next to you on the floor.  As your boss wanders in to check out the racey laceys, your cell phone begins to ring with your oft-played-at-the-office Jay-Z ringtone, as your mother calls you back to ask why you hung up so quickly.

Are you prepared to lose your job just because you need (or want) to run a few errands?   Yes, I know you work through your breaks and sip down a cup o’ soup at your desk half the time during lunch, but use some of that built-up comp time or take a short vacay in order to complete the things you need to do during work hours.  Naked honesty can be hard sometimes, especially when you know your coworkers are not as forthwith in their days off.  You can do it, and you will feel better about  yourself in the long run…

Don’t hide problems

You have a deadline staring at you from the shelf to your right.  It’s right by that plant that jerk of an ex-boyfriend gave you last month.  You know, the little once-green Dieffenbacchia you don’t water much anymore, a chlorophyllic voodoo doll held captive to your crumbling, roller-coaster emotional state.  If you don’t think you are going to meet a deadline, get your newly-naked self up and make an appointment with your boss.  Let him or her know when you are not going to meet a deadline, no matter how big or small the project is.

Letting your boss know of an impending missed deadline and the issues related to it says you care about the work needing to be done.  You might wind up getting others to help you, or a more respectful boss with a greater understanding of the issues involved with your work.  On the flip side, if your boss has to remind you that a deadline has come and gone, you will likely already look in his or her eyes as a procrastinator, or plain forgetful.  Lump that in with the Victoria’s Secret fiasco, and you might find yourself walking the pavement for another job…

Stop the gossip already

Did you hear that John had an affair?  Did you know that Susan got a breast enlargement?  Did you hear that David has a file cabinet filled with Army C Rations and Ensure, in case the world ends and he is trapped in the office? Did you?

There are few habits more pernicious and hurtful in a workplace than gossip.  I know it is hard sometimes to turn your back on the newest issue of the Daily Whisper, because it helps to pass the time, it brings certain high-and-mighty coworkers to their knees for your amusement, and it makes your problems seem more distant.

Stop with the office gossip, beginning with yourself.  Check the “evil tongue” at the door, and allow people their privacy. No matter how juicy a tidbit of information about a coworker appears, sharing it will only tarnish your reputation as well.

Tell Mrs. Wormwood Slipperytongue to take her business elsewhere, because you are no longer buying.  And develop that long-term relationship with David, because 2012 is just around the corner, and C Rations have significantly improved over the  years, especially the canned shredded turkey in gravy…

Share the nudity

If your company doesn’t hold scheduled staff meetings, then suggest it to your boss.  Invite everyone, no matter on what level they work.  Call in the delivery people, mailroom guy, secretaries, mid-managers, and that cute barista in the lobby who always asks you if you want whipped cream on it with that devilish smile.   (Note to my very lovely fiancée — This is a purely fictional character, and in no way is an indication of my interactions with people in or near my office.  I haven’t had a latté since that incident with the boss at Victoria’s Secret!)

Major corporations, including Google, Inc., find weekly to be a good frequency for getting everyone together. For many offices, this is a monthly evolution. No matter how often you meet, make it a point to stick with that frequency, no matter what.  Believe it or not, there are people who look forward to the next meeting, and they aren’t all axe-grinders.

Staff meetings must be a place where anything can be asked by anyone.  Management is informed beforehand that they must answer to the best of their ability, but within reason and corporate policy. This open environment, where your very own pet projects might get discussed in front of everyone else, will seem a bit awkward at first. Having Sean, who spends hours daily outside the back door on his cell phone with that hooker from Phoenix, ask you to state why it’s taking you four months to create that dynamic list of business contacts based on zip code and shoe size might leave you red-faced afterward.

Eventually things will improve, as everyone in the office begins to make decisions with an eye toward how their actions will look to everyone else.  Maybe Sean will find a way to break it off before Mrs. Slippertongue calls and lets his wife know the 411.

Bare naked evaluations

Employee evaluations ought to be honest and up-front.  An employee’s areas for improvement must be discussed. Maybe you think if you simply gloss over his answering of the office phone with the catchy phrase “Yo,” your employee-friend Alex will keep playing squash with you on Sunday mornings at the Y.  Maybe your real problem is an inability to genuinely connect with anyone, so you can’t make friends anywhere except by cornering the people who have to spend 8 hours with you each day of the week.  The people who rely on you for their rent money.  Hmm.  I dunno.

Being nakedly honest during evaluations and covering those areas needing improvement may seem scary, especially if that person is a high performer, but it’s needed both for you and the employee. If you don’t tell the employee what’s wrong and how to improve, they will spend yet another year making the same mistake, and ultimately productivity (or office morale) can suffer.   Other employees may think you’re playing favorites.  You might simply avoid the issue by giving important jobs to other workers, creating even more tension between you and the problem employee. This could result in your employee quitting or complaining, causing greater disunity in the workplace.  And nobody to play squash with.

Those are my suggestions for being naked at work today and every day.  Print it out and slide it under your boss’ door during today’s lunch hour.  He’s probably at Victoria’s Secret again right now anyhow.  And if you like this story, go ahead and share it far and wide.  Then send me your shoe size, ’cause I gotta finish this stupid customer database before the next staff meeting…

MLB Rule 6.10

Today is the 37th anniversary of the creation of rule 6.10 of Major League Baseball, forever changing the game.  The rule is more widely known by its popular name, the Designated Hitter Rule.  Prior to this rule, every team knew that the god-like pitching arm that devastated their batting order would eventually have to take his turn at home plate.  Indeed, it was a rarity in baseball to find a man whose sinewy arm not only launched lightning-filled strikes but could also hit anything worthy from the plate.  It was considered an easy out for both teams…

The argument against the Designated Hitter

Although it does not sound like Casey was a pitcher by trade, it sounds rather un-American for a player in any sport to be allowed to step aside, to shirk what appears to be his turn at a team effort, simply because of an inability to accomplish greatness while taking his turn, right?  After all, if I were to pull forth one of Major League Baseball’s greatest (and most well-known) historical home-run hitters, it would be a pitcher.  Before taking the mantle of home-run guru, Babe Ruth began his career as a pitcher for the Red Sox.

Needed even before its creation

While the actual Designated Hitter rule is not all that old, requests to take advantage of a replacement batter are almost as old as the professional form of America’s game.  Blame it on the groans from the stands whenever a gangly mustachioed pitcher walked up, a giant among men when it came to slinging a curve ball, but now clumsily winding his bat in little circles, approaching the plate for another strikeout.

“The best case for the Designated Hitter is this: It represents that rarest of things, the triumph of evidence over ideology. The anti-DH ideology is that there should be no specialization in baseball, no division of labor: Everyone should play “the whole game.” That theory is obliterated by this fact: Specialization is a fact with or without the Designated Hitter. Most pitchers only go through the motions at bat.” – George F. Will

The argument for the Designated Hitter

Those standing for the rule reason that many sports have specialized positions within them, in order to obtain and allow for the best players (and skill sets) to be utilized fulfilling them.  Training can be targeted to best suit those skill-sets, and older, injury-prone players such as Edgar Martinez were (and are) allowed to continue their careers as designated hitters.  After all, not everyone has to take a turn on the pitcher’s mound too, right?

“There’s no doubt in my mind that the game of baseball in all its beauty and entirety is the National League game. I would kick the Designated Hitter out so quick it would make your head spin.”  ~ Tony La Russa

In reply to this split in philosophy, Rule 6.10 has only been utilized by the American League, while the National League leaves their pitchers in the batting lineup, same as always.  And in response to this, the batting averages of teams in the American League have risen higher over time.  There are a variety of rules pertaining to using Rule 6.10, including that the designated hitter must be formally stated before a game begins in order to use him, the DH cannot play a field position, and cannot be replaced with anyone else in the formal lineup.

Do we need designated hitters?

However you feel about the use of designated hitters in baseball, we all come to a point in our professional (and even personal) lives when we are overwhelmed with responsibilities.  The better we are at doing something, the more likely we will have additional duties placed on our shoulders. As the quote goes, “The reward for hard work is hard work.”  And just as a pitcher in the National League dreads the weight of another likely unsuccessful at-bat, if we do not learn to delegate some of our work, we may begin to dread facing our responsibilities at all.

So in commemoration of the anniversary of Major League Baseball Rule 6.10, as well as in honor of the Mudville 9 honored in Thayer’s beautiful poem, I offer 9 tips to keep you from striking out when attempting to delegate your workload to others….

How to delegate your work

1. Personally visit and talk things over with some of the coworkers you think might actually be willing to take on the additional work you give them.  Don’t email – do this in person, so you can actually determine from their body language their desire.  Write down the names of all interested parties.
2. Determine the skill-set of each person you spoke with.  Mull over in your mind what it is they do, as well as skills they might have but currently don’t use.  What are their interests?  Be sure to work to your new team-mates’ strengths.  Do your best to ensure that the task(s) you give over will help others grow new skills and confidence, which you can then turn around and build on further with additional tasks.
3. Make sure that you are not putting together people who have difficulty working together.  Personality issues in (or even out) of the workplace will carry over to your projects if you create a bad environment for your team.  The price for ignoring this is a failed project, which gets reassigned back to you, of course…
4. Ensure you create mile-markers, and take the time to ensure your team is correctly handling the assignments.  Find out if they have any questions and provide answers.
5. Don’t micro-manage the work, or demand it be done in the way you would’ve done it (unless it has to be based on specifications.)  Allow your new team to create their own processes in which to complete the job, and don’t be afraid to make these processes your own as well.
6. Be sure that you have taken the time to discuss the scope of authority for the tasks to be done.  You always want your helpers to know that although authority can be delegated to do jobs, responsibility cannot, and that you are ultimately held to the quality of their work.  It is imperative that they not overstep the boundaries of the work, to ensure its success and compliance with dictates handed to you in the first place from the higher-ups.
7. When choosing your team, avoid the appearance of favoritism.  Don’t hire all of your friends to help you, as this will not only tick of your other co-workers, but also could lead to disastrous results.  If your friends fail in helping you or overstep their boundaries, it will likely strain your personal relationship with them.
8. When the work is complete, you had better not forget to provide ample congratulations and thank yous to the team, or expect them to politely say no the next time you ask for more help…
9. This is an important one.  Many a delegator has become so good at what they do, that they find themselves out of a job.  Sure, it would be nice to come into work each and every day and simply tell your co-workers how to do your work.  But your are not the boss.  And you don’t want your boss to recognize that you are no longer the one doing your work.  After all, what a financial savings to let you go and allow your co-workers to continue performing your duties!

Good luck in trying these out yourself!  I am certain that if you take these 9 steps to heart and properly follow them, your workplace will not find itself divided as baseball finds itself, and you will be able to take that workplace mantle of the Mighty Casey (sans strike-out, of course…)

Perhaps if Casey had been a pitcher he could’ve gotten himself a designated hitter….

Perhaps, like me, you took a bit too long to put away those Christmas ornaments at home, enjoying for a time the lilting tones of procrastination playing in the background of a quiet, too-short vacation.   But we finally did it, didn’t we?  The red and green plastic wreaths are back home in their cardboard shelters, the strings of lights nestling like endless multi-colored snakes, entangling themselves further as you read this.  The Christmas tree broken down, branches pressed together again in a goodbye embrace, wrapped in bubble wrap and shoved improbably into a too-little box (or for you real tree lovers, pushed to the curb to be recycled and become fertilizer for next Spring’s lawn.)

It always amazes me how, with almost military precision, under the ever-vigilant eye of my better half, each and every bit of decoration is put away for 10 more months of quiet slumber in the corner of our crowded garage.  As I write this, I wonder why I have not attained the same level of tradition when it comes to keeping up a space I inhabit year round – my desk?

Today is National Clean Off Your Desk Day.  It’s a clarion call to de-clutter, to make your workspace more efficient, and to find that cool pen you bought last year and promptly lost under a stack of paperwork.

So how exactly do I clean my mess up?

Getting yourself into a safer place – what to do immediately

Go through your desk’s paperwork and determine which of it you really never needed to keep.  Shred or recycle promptly.  Go through what’s left and put in the following piles:

• Things not needing a response that you want to keep.
• Things that can be taken care of in less than 5 minutes.
• Things that’ll likely take longer than 5 minutes to complete.

For everything you want to keep and doesn’t need any action, create files for (if needed) and file away.

For everything needing less than 5 minutes, put them in order of priority in a To-Do box or folder.   Put the greater than 5 minutes items in a Project box or folder, in order of priority.

When you begin tackling your To-Dos and Projects, hit the priority level items that are an emergency until you are in a safe zone.  Take a breather then hit the rest at a more leisurely pace.

How to maintain a better organized work area

Once you get things cleaned up, here are 8 ways to keep your desk looking spic-n-span, and to re-prioritize what dares come across your work area in the future:

1.  Go digital, go paperless – Scan documents you don’t look at anymore but want to keep, and toss the hard copies.  Make sure to create a simple yet understandable file structure to help locate these files in the future.  A flash drive backup would be desirable, but also consider creating an account at a cloud-based storage site like Google Docs or Dropbox and organizing your scanned and archived documents there.  Cloud systems will allow you to access your important documents even on the road or at home.

2.  Eschew Post-Its – These are far too easy to lose.  Instead, take advantage of an online service such as Google Calendar or your Outlook/Entourage email system to create alerts of the things you need to take care of and when.  Tie your smart phone to your account to send you text message reminders.  When you get business cards, place them in your online contacts list and throw away the card, or simply offer to use a contact sharing app like Bump to electronically share contact info.

3.  Don’t use your printer as a reminder –  Avoid printing hard copies of emails or attachments as reminders, if you don’t have to.  Any file emailed to you can be electronically transferred to another online service for storage.  If the email or attachment is related to a job needing completion, tie the information to an electronic To-do or as an event in your calendar software.  You can normally attach an electronic file there, to show up with the event alert, so you won’t have to worry about losing the paperwork.

4.  Dump the pens – Over time it’s easy to accumulate a number of ink pens.  Gather them up as you re-discover them, and keep 2 or 3 of the best ones.  The rest?  Put them in an office pen supply drawer for use by other pen hoarders.

5.  Give up the schwag – Do you attend a lot of conferences? If so, you have likely assembled quite the assortment of pens, pencils, stamps, stickers, lint cleaners, screen wipes and so forth.  I know the feeling when you got them, as though you were interoffice royalty having magical gifts bestowed upon you.  Ditch them now, and treat future offerings as though they were inherently disease ridden.  After all, if you find them buried away on or in your desk, you never really needed them in the first place.

6.  Burn the books – Well, not literally.  If you’re not reading it for work often, or can find the information easily online, give away or take home the book.  Consider purchasing eBooks in the future when searching for office-based literature – they’re easier to cross-reference and take up no additional desk space.

7.  Eat away from your desk – Not only will you get a break from the office, adding mental clarity and happiness to your life, it will avoid the forks, knives, soda cans, napkins and other clutter associated with eating at your desk.  It will also help avoid devastating spills next to important paperwork (or electronics!)

8. Just how many family photos do you need? – Seriously, nobody needs to see your little boy hitting a baseball at three different angles to know he plays on a city league.  A nice family photo or a single cute head shot of each will suffice.  We know you love them – How about putting a bunch of nice photos in a screensaver, to play when you are away eating lunch under a shady spot?

Hopefully you find this advice helpful, give straightening up your work area a shot, and can add your own tricks to the mix below in the comments!  If you need additional incentive, I can send my better half to stand by your desk and provide tough love until good judgement finds you…