How many men are out there right now, wondering if this is the year, if they are with Ms. Right, if she would even say yes if they dared ask?  How many men are still assembling their courage, and waiting for that sign that it’s time…..

I am laying down the gauntlet, my male friends.  I am shouting from the rooftops for you to take that next step in life and commit.  I am holding up a sign, neon red, blinking and loud.  The sign says NOW.

Let’s all start that new life at the same time.  Together we will make this journey, lending support to each other when necessary, as only men can.

If you are teetering on the decision and want that sign, to know if your woman is the ONE, then here are 10 things you can consider.  But hurry, because you don’t have much time left before Valentine’s Day!

Signs you should propose to her:

1. Do you support each other even during difficult times? How was it when the money ran out and there were a lot of days left in the calendar before the next paycheck?  Did you talk each other through it, explaining that you both know the two of you will pull through together?
2. Do you look past today’s appearance? When you are looking less than your best game, does she accept your difficulty in figuring your ensembles out without the benefit of matching Garanimals tags?  Is she still arm-candy for you even when she is in sweats and sneakers, make up free and with a fresh pimple on her forehead?
3. Do you both have a strong sense of self-worth and ability? Are you both independently capable of figuring out how to support yourselves as free adults in the World?  Have you both lived on your own long enough to know you always can?
4. Do you both agree on finances? Do you trust each other’s decision-making abilities when it comes to money?  Can either of you make decisions about what to buy on a moderate scale without having to constantly confer with the other party, and do you uphold each other’s spending limits?
5. How do you feel in each other’s presence? Do you feel like a bigger man in her eyes than you know, deep-down, you really are?  Does she make you want to be a better man simply because you know she has every confidence in your abilities?
6. How do both of you get along with people of the same sex? Trust me, if other women seem to have overwhelming issues with your girlfriend, maybe it’s because they found a rotten apple in the barrel long before you did.   Women who have healthy relationships with peers likely have developed more balanced viewpoints of things in the World around them, including you.
7. Would you consider your mate “high maintenance?” I hate to use this term, because there is no simple definition for “high maintenance,” as it is all in the eye of the beholder. Does she (or you) require the presence of ongoing items, services or relationships that break from what you are willing to support in an ongoing manner?  How about if you both were living only on your income – do you comfortably feel either of you would let go of inessential items for the survival of the family?
8. How do the two of you treat those come across your life? Do either of you jump to rudeness with store employees when you feel you did not get a good deal, or do the two of you channel your inner Mother Theresa?  Do you scream at traffic, or gently move over in the lane to allow others by?  Does she enjoy the company of children, or cringe when they appear on the scene?  If the two of you have mastered your inner Tazmanian Devil, you are on a better path to treating each other with the courtesy, dignity and respect you both deserve.
9. Are there ghosts of relationships past? Make sure you both have soundly put your previous relationships in the past and left them there!  And I mean phone calls, Facebook friending, and lunches too!
10. Do you trust your mate around the opposite sex? Trust in each other being able to tame the libido around attractive members of the opposite sex is essential.  Healthy office flirting to make the atmosphere fun is one thing, but do you both believe the other knows where the line is drawn?  Can you talk about the relationships you are forming in life without worry you will get the Stink-Eye from your partner?

I am ready for this next, wonderful step in my life.  I have been ready for a long, long time.   Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know you will join me too.  And please pass this post on to everyone you know, all the single men with wonderful girlfriends, who deserve to have a ring put on it!

The Objectives of IMD

International Men’s Day events are held in nations all over our planet, and typically include public displays, educational seminars and classroom activities, publicly broadcasted television and radio programs, religious observances, and peaceful marches. The organizers of IMD have agreed that the following broad objectives should be covered when holding an event related to IMD:

1. The celebration of manhood as seen in the historically valuable and positive contributions that men of all ages have made to both local communities and Society in general.
2. The promotion of equality among the genders, encouraging men to stand up and face head-on, responsibly and positively, the challenges faced by all in society.
3. The demonstration of character and courage in continuing to meet those challenges that Society faces each and every day, to ensure we can all meet our full potential.
4. The highlighting of positive male role models. This means not just movie stars or sports figures, but also working class men leading decent, honest lives.

The Year of the Positive Male Role Model

Is this our ideal? Why?

In previous years, International Men’s Day has discussed issues relating to men’s health, gender relations, and gender equality. Celebrating a different aspect of men’s lives each year, 2009 has been named the Year of the Positive Male Role Model.

Who would you consider to be (or to have been) a positive male role model in your own life? Was it your father? Step-father? Grandfather? Uncle? Older brother or friend? Pastor or Rabbi? A boss? Someone famous? Every single one of these men had to define for themselves what it meant to be a man, and in some way their definition has influenced your own…

So What Does it Mean to be a Man?

To be a man is to live in a dichotomy. We are granted incredible freedom in defining ourselves, while living under the invisible pressure of conformity as provided by our fellow Man. The layers of pressure come from greater Society’s agreed-upon and often capricious definitions of our gender, our larger family’s definitions, and our faith’s often-stringent refining. We have layered upon us the invisible garments provided by our home, our community, and even our Nation.

So Many Choices when Defining Ourselves…

Oscar Wilde

Historically the definition of acceptable manhood has changed, and continues to morph over time. We have moved from wholesale acceptance of brute force and strength of will as desirable defining characteristics to a more intellectual approach to matters of life. This is not to say Manhood has softened. Let’s just say that we Men have learned to take the clay from those that used to mold our roles, and have begun to choose for ourselves who (or what) we lend our malleability to…

In free nations like America, where homogeneity of thought was dispensed with as soon as our ancestors began stepping on our shores, we accept many other possible definitions for what it means to be a Man. And it is our free responsibility to examine with careful scrutiny the many layers put on us, that we carry in our daily lives. To what purpose do they serve us, and are we prepared to maintain them, passing them down to our sons? What changes do we make in defining ourselves, and how quickly do we embrace such changes?

So What do I Think?

Can we define ourselves through our relationships?

Here’s my spin: To be a man is to be responsible for ourselves, even in areas where we have little control over our lives or destinies. We must be strong supporters of our friends and family, even when it means providing needed criticism. We are to seek passionate, loving and respectful relationships with our significant others. We are to be aware of our surroundings and must strive to improve upon them. We must endeavor to mold our environment to allow for honesty. We must be willing to both swing the hammer and open our fists. We must listen, try to understand, sacrifice and compromise.

Outside of this, Dude, you are on your own. You figure out the rest.

So What do we Hand Down to Our Children?

In many countries, International Men’s Day (or IMD) is celebrated in tandem with Universal Children’s Day on Nov. 20th, to bring together the importance of the special bond between men and his children. It’s one thing to carry the burdens handed to us by our fathers (and their fathers.) It’s another thing entirely to sit and examine what we will leave behind and place on the shoulders of our sons.

Our children learn their roles through us.

One of the reasons the cultural definition of Manhood has changed so drastically over the last 40 years is the renewed, shared, sense of self-determination. Our fathers grew up with the belief that we competed against each other to get ahead, sometimes learning painful cut-throat lessons. Some of them, now retired, watch in abject confusion as we discuss collaborative work models, as we come together in common cause, move on to regroup with others, then move on again…

Men have to teach, more than any other skill, the ability to work with and get along with others. Men must remind their sons that they do not have to define themselves through the personal victory, but through the sharing of a common win. We must teach them to adapt in a World that changes faster than any other our forefathers have ever known.

So be Responsible for How You (and Men) are Viewed

Whether in the news, movies, or in literature, there exists ample fictional and non-fictional examples of men, young and old, exhibiting negative behavior. This includes criminal activities, violence against others, or simply delinquency. The supporters of International Men’s Day work diligently to provide a forum to respond to these negative portrayals, reminding the World that there are many more examples of decency and scions of character among us.

Help all of us out by examining those invisible garments you wear each day, and hanging up the ones that are no longer needed to protect you from an increasingly open World. Rediscover for yourself what it means to be a man, and then contact me to help me out, too…

Take some time after reading this, find your significantly manly other’s cell phone number, and happily dial it so that you can tell him the GOOD NEWS! Just make sure you have finished reading first, as there are a number of rules involved with this uniquely dangerous holiday. You will want to become knowledgeable on them prior to the negotiations with him, lest you wind up being provided a less-than-desirable offering from the kitchen.

Rules for Men make Dinner Day

1. The meal is dinner, and served sometime between 6:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. prompt.

2. Ambience is required, including (but not limited to) decent and clean dish, glass and flatware, napkins, and a form of desirable table decor (candles, placemats, centerpiece, etc.)

Setting a fine example, men...

3. Table must be cleaned and dry prior to serving the dishes.

4. There must be a minimum of 2 items on the plate. It is desired that at least one fully cooked vegetable and starchy item be provided. Meat is optional, in that there are a growing number of vegetarians…

5. The foods provided must be cooked, in a stove, on a pan or grill, or using a pot. Microwaving is allowed for the vegetables only.

6. The main dish must have a minimum of 4 ingredients, and found in a published cookbook or Internet site of decent repute.

7. Nudity is optional, and only allowed when welcome. If bacon is involved, nudity is not recommended during the cooking of the meal… A decent shirt, socks and trousers is strongly suggested. Aprons are optional, but certainly welcome both during the cooking and serving portion of the meal.

8. Foods cooked must be of a nature deemed desirable by those being served, as drawn from personal experience. If you are unsure, you MUST ask your woman what she wants!

9. It is desired that the food be served on serving plates or trays, with proper implements for serving. Service for two only allows for the food to be placed on the plates, but offset by appropriate ambience, including candles and preferably softer music.

10. My strongest recommendation is to clean up after dinner is over, including the table, plates, counters and cooking surfaces. In most instances, this produces more of a positive reaction than the dinner itself.

Meal Suggestions

Oh, my hero....

Male Kitchen Colleagues: Search your home or the Internet high and low for a good cookbook, and find something that you have identified ingredients for, and you know your mate will love. Shop for what is needed, now. There are so many incredible and easy dinner recipes on the Web!

Here are a few sites to get you started, from some of the most influential chefs in the World and right here on Twitter. Some are simple to follow, while others will require a more experienced man in the kitchen…

Mario Batali – Incredible Italian recipes! Fuggedaboudit!

Bobby Flay – BBQ, Dude!

Gordon Ramsay - Shut up and cook!

Paul Bocuse – Fine French dining… Bon Appetit!

Chef Andre’s Recipes courtesy of KathyIreland.com

Emeril’s Recipes – BAM!!!

Jamie Oliver (The Naked Chef) – Not what you think…

Gary Arbaugh – wonderful variety of easy recipes, sure to please your significant other!

Visit back soon, and let me know how it went…

How much do we care what's up there?

Today is Bald and Free Day, the day that we celebrate those of us that no longer go through the daily routine of reworking their lovely locks, those fun-loving individuals who have released all worries about ever having a bad hair day. I’m talking about men who have gone all the way, shaving off even the fuzzy side-kicks and embracing their bold, beautiful scalp.

A quarter of all men worry about losing their hair as they age, while as many as 70% of all men suffer some level of hair loss through their lives. This disparity tells us that almost half of all bald men really never cared about losing their hair to a great extent. Of those that did worry, what were their main concerns?

Typical worries men have about becoming bald:

1. That they will no longer be considered sexy.
2. That they will appear older than they really are, losing out on opportunities due to age discrimination.
3. That they will lose some level of respect from their well-coiffed peers.

Oh, we try and try to stave off the inevitable, don’t we? We eye (and buy) the special minty shampoos and conditioners, praying that the tingle will awaken a scalp-born forest of confidence. We rub and brush and apply our Rogaine religiously, washing our hands afterwards in fear that our hands will look like Teen Wolf. And we follow every bit of advice provided to us, in the hope that for us at least, perhaps it will work….

9 common myths about hair loss

1. Standing on your head will not increase circulation to the scalp, nor will it increase hair growth. But it might make that whole loss of respect of peers thing accelerate…
2. The frequent wearing of a hat or cap will not cause baldness. But it might affect your sex life…
3. Frequent styling with blow dryers and curling irons may break hair, but will not lead to permanent hair loss.
4. Overly tight corn-rows or pony tails can cause a great deal of breakage, but not baldness. But Dude. Ponytails are so passé….
5. Vitamin deficiency does not cause male pattern baldness. Vitamin deficiency causes issues all over your head, not just in the part on top.
6. The more sex you have does not indicate the rate at which you will lose your hair. But you can pretend that you did not hear that from me…
7. Hair loss is not determined by the men on your mother’s side of the family. Grandpa George didn’t cause your increasingly shiny scalp, no matter how many times he rubbed that scruff of yours when he saw you growing up, or by having helped create dear old Mom so many years ago. Heredity from both sides of the family tree helps to determine if and when you may suffer from (or enjoy) hair loss.
8. Washing your hair daily will not lead to baldness, as many shampoos and conditioners actually aid in moisturizing your hair, preventing excess breakage.
9. Brushing thinning hair will not make it fall out faster, unless you are extremely excessive in the length of time spent and the ferocity with which you brush. Conversely, brushing your scalp will not increase grow-back.

Need I say more?

Are all the worries about losing our hair well-founded? If over time you see more and more of that scalp peering back at you in the bathroom mirror, will your love life, career and friendships suffer? Perhaps not…

8 positives men have about baldness:

1. They save money overall, rarely opening their wallets for shampoos, and never for conditioners, styling products and sprays. Sun block, however, may still be in order, as nothing smarts worse than a bright burn on top…
2. They have more time in their day, no longer needing to waste time styling their hair or checking it in the mirror from time to time. They are perfect and stay that way no matter what, right?
3. There is no longer an issue with dandruff (although a shiny pate might need to be rubbed down from time to time…)
4. You can wear a helmet and ride a motorcycle without worry of mussing up the curls. Convertible top down? Dude, who cares, unless you haven’t anchored down that Big Mac!
5. You are a scion of manly-man-ness. God felt a need to provide you, yes you with a plethora of Testosterone. Lord it over your friends and enemies, and you will never lose their respect…
6. Jean Luc Picard. Sean Connery. The Rock. Enough said, you might as well be a movie star, because you sure look like one! Some bald men have noted that since they embraced their baldness, they exhibited a greater level of confidence, and actually enjoyed a more full sex life.
7. “Marvelous” Marvin Hagler. Michael Jordan. Charles Barkley. Jay Buhner. Mark Messier. Zinedine Zidane. Kelly Slater. Matt Hasselbeck. Kevin Garnett. Brian Urlacher. Do your best to make sure the ladies see you as belonging to that mighty sports god fraternity.
8. You can grow a goatee and look like a biker bad-ass anytime. And you can do it with a latte in hand and a copy of Twilight in front of you, tear running down your face as Bella and Edward enjoy that first forbidden kiss…. Face it, nobody is going to bother you with that awesome man-stache…

I don’t care if they call me “baldie” or “chrome dome.” God took an eraser and brushed my head clean. I’d rather be bald on top than bald inside. ~ Joe Garagiola

You determine how baldness is viewed...

If you find yourself balding, remember this. No matter how you feel about your hair loss, you held the power to determine how you viewed your life before this worrisome discovery. You decided whether or not you would let things get to you, and you made adjustments in yourself and how you viewed the world around you when you did not like what you saw in it.

You have the power of perception

Now that there will be fewer strands on that fine, wonderful head of yours, you still have the power to define how you perceive and are perceived. You determine how baldness will be viewed, by how you wear it, and how you project it. You can decide if you are truly losing something, or gaining an opportunity to redefine yourself.