March 20th is Extraterrestrial Abductions Day.  This doesn’t mean expect to be whisked away today from that Starbucks line by little green or grey dudes with large heads, black eyes and long, pokey fingers.  On Monday mornings especially, however, getting snatched from the endless queue for a caramel macchiato might actually feel like a saving grace.

Today is a day to ponder on the statements made by those who’ve said they’ve had the unique displeasure of unwillingly rendezvousing with beings from another world.  And I don’t mean Milwaukee.  What if the abductions really happened, and what does it mean for the rest of us?  Will the little green or grey men be clogging up the Starbucks line, too?  Some of us need to know…

Communion and The Visitors Author Whitley Strieber highlighted his ongoing and deeply troubling personal experiences with other-world beings, as he met with other individuals who slowly came to their own realization that they’d had ‘close encounters of the third kind’.  Each person shared a very unique set of odd physical and mental ticks, spotty memories, and easily charged emotions related to their experiences, whether real or not.

Have you ever wondered if you’ve been visited by aliens from outer space?  If so, here are the top 50 signs that some of the cold, dark evenings you thought you spent alone might have been shared with your little other-worldly “friends”.

1. Have had unexplainable missing or lost time of one hour or more.
2. Have been paralyzed in bed with a being in your room.
3. Have unusual scars or marks with no possible explanation on how you received them (small scoop indentation, straight line scar, triangular marks, scars in roof of mouth, in nose, behind or in ears, etc.)
4. Have seen balls of light or flashes of light in your home or other locations
5. Have a memory of flying through the air which could not be a dream, or many dreams involving flying.
6. Have a strong “marker memory” that will not go away (i.e.: an alien face, an examination, a needle, a table, a strange skinny baby, etc.)
7. Have seen beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window.
8. Have had many dreams of UFOs, beams of light, or alien beings.
9. Have had a shocking UFO sighting or multiple sightings in your life.
10. Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious.
11. Have a strong sense of having a mission or important task to perform, sometime, without knowing where this compulsion is coming from.
12. Have a secret feeling that you are “special” or “chosen,” somehow.
13. Have had unexplainable events occur in your life, and felt strangely anxious afterwards.
14. Have had several strange psychic experiences – such as knowing that something is going to happen before it happens.
15. Have awoken in another place than where you went to sleep, or don’t remember ever going to sleep. (i.e. waking up with your head at the foot of your bed, or in your car)
16. Have had a dream of eyes such as animal eyes (like an owl or deer), or remember seeing an animal looking in at you. Also if you have a fear of eyes.
17. Have awoken in the middle of the night startled.
18. Have strong reaction to pictures of aliens. Either an aversion to or being drawn to.
19. Have inexplicably strong fears or phobias. (i.e. heights, snakes, spiders, large insects, certain sounds, bright lights, your personal security or being alone).
20. Have seen someone with you become paralyzed, motionless, or frozen in time, especially someone you sleep with.
21. Have a memory of having a special place with spiritual significance, when you were a youngster.
22. Have had someone in your life who claims to have witnessed a ship or alien near you or has witnessed you having been missing.
23. Have had, at any time, blood or a strange stain on sheet or pillow, with no explanation of how it got there.
24. Have an interest in the subject of UFO sightings or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot.
25. Have an extreme aversion towards the subject of UFO’s or aliens – don’t want to talk about it.
26. Have been suddenly compelled to drive or walk to an out of the way or unknown area.
27. Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night.
28. Have had dreams of passing through a closed window or solid wall.
29. Have seen a strange fog or haze that should not be there.
30. Have had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life. Or have awoken with a nose bleed.
31. Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained.
32. Have had back or neck problems, T-3 vertebrae out often, or awoken with an unusual stiffness in any part of the body.
33. Have had chronic sinusitis or nasal problems.
34. Have had electronics around you go haywire or oddly malfunction with no explanation (such as street lights going out as you walk under them, TV’s and radios affected as you move close, etc.).
35. Have seen a hooded figure in or near your home, especially next to your bed.
36. Have had frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears, especially in one ear.
37. Have an unusual fear of doctors or tend to avoid medical treatment.
38. Have insomnia or sleep disorders which are puzzling to you.
39. Have had dreams of doctors or medical procedures.
40. Have frequent or sporadic headaches, especially in the sinus, behind one eye, or in one ear.
41. Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things.
42. Have had paranormal or psychic experiences, including intuition.
43. Have simply heard an external voice in your head, speaking to you, perhaps instructing or guiding you.
44. Have been afraid of your closet, now or as a child.
45. Have had sexual or relationship problems (such as an odd “feeling” that you must not become involved in a relationship because it would interfere with “something.”)
46. Have to sleep against the wall or must sleep with your bed against a wall.
47. Have a fear that you must be very vigilant or you will be taken away by “someone.”
48. Have a difficult time trusting other people, especially authority figures.
49. Have had dreams of destruction or catastrophe.
50. Have the feeling that you are not supposed to talk about these things, or that you should not talk about them.

If you’ve experience an overwhelming majority of these signs, perhaps you’d like to schedule some therapy time with a specialist in regression therapy, or grab a Strieber novel, and fetch yourself that caramel macchiato.  After all, the Starbucks line has probably thinned out a bit by now.  If it’s dark, better take along a friend.

A human friend.

May 12th is International Nurses Day. Unless you’ve spent a great deal of time laid up in the hospital or have a nurse for a family member, you don’t know a lot of real-life nurses.  We remember a lot of Hollywood nurses, however.  From the great movies we’ve watched over the years we’ve come to either hate them or love them, laugh at them or cry over their trials.

In honor of these fictional care workers, I’ve put together a nice variety of notorious, notable or downright naughty nurses.  Enjoy…

9 Notable Nurses That Never Were

Nurse Christine Chapel

Played by Majel Barrett, Nurse Chapel was the head nurse aboard the Starship Enterprise in the TV series Star Trek.  Her husband had disappeared five years earlier, and shows up on a strange planet during one episode, having replaced his heavily damaged body with an android.  Chapel is aghast at this turn of events, and her husband kills himself in despair.  Nurse Chapel goes on to have a long-standing but unrequited love for Dr. Spock.  A woman, yet again, in pursuit of a hard, cold shoulder.

Elle Driver

Although not really a nurse, the lovely killer for hire, played by Daryl Hannah in Kill Bill, sneaks into a hospital changing room, to emerge as an almost iconic sinister and naughty nurse, with a mission to snuff out Uma Thurman, who lies in a coma.

Nurse Betty

In Nurse Betty, Renee Zellweger plays Betty Sizemore, who after seeing her husband killed, mentally breaks down.  She decides that she is actually a nurse on a daytime television show she is watching.  She dresses up, plays the part in real life, and things get pretty interesting from there.

Nurse Jenny Fields

In The World According to Garp, Glenn Close plays an asexual, opinionated and strong-willed nurse who decides to become impregnated by a wounded soldier on his death bed.  She raises her son (named T.S. after Technical Sergeant Garp – his father) alone, obtaining a position at his school to keep a close eye on him.  After her son graduates, she begins a third career as a best-selling, equally loved and reviled feminist author.

Nurse Murch

In The Right Stuff, Jane Dornacker steals a few scenes as the completely unattractive, absolutely unflappable and quietly mysterious nurse who works for the early NASA program in determining the physical fitness of astronaut candidates.  No amount of banter from the sweet-talking candidates sway her, as she deals with, among other things, obtaining sperm samples from them.

Major Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan

In over 250 episodes of the military medical unit series M.A.S.H., Loretta Swit played a sexually gregarious and professionally hard-nosed lead nurse.  Known early on as a one-woman welcoming committee to any visiting male official, her character developed over the years into a warm-hearted, respected and sympathetic woman.  It’s hard to feel sexy when you are surrounded by bullets.

Gaylord Focker

Ben Stiller plays a completely under-appreciated and disrespected male nurse fiancé in Meet the Parents.  His attempts at being accepted into his bride-to-be’s family are either rebuffed or are hilarious (and physically damaging) failures.

Annie Wilkes

In the Stephen King thriller Misery, Kathy Bates plays a former nurse, who is an overly obsessed and psychotic fan of writer Paul Sheldon, who unfortunately winds up stranded near her country home.  She “cares” for him by taking him prisoner, ruining him physically, scaring him out of his long-standing writer’s block, and forcing him to write another novel for her, just to survive.

Nurse Ratched

The quintessential hard-nosed control freak care worker, played by Louise Fletcher, In One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  Ratched’s sadistic desire to keep her patients neatly under her thumb leads to a revolt, led by R. P. McMurphy, played by Jack Nicholson.  It is considered to be the performance of both their lives.

This article first appeared at Technorati.com as 9 Notable Nurses That Never Were – please visit my article there and enjoy another read!

May 9th is Lost Sock Memorial Day. Mysteries in life abound.  Where’s Amelia Earhart? What’s at Hangar 13? Did Atlantis really exist? What is up with the fake horns, Lady Gaga?

These great unanswered questions are esoteric in nature; we think of them from a distance because we don’t see a way in which the answers will really affect us.  Except for Gaga – if we could figure out the horns, I would have a better answer, because my kids keep asking about them.  Curse you, Ms. Monster!

There remains, however, a long-standing mystery that has touched each and every one of us, reaching from the unknown to overturn our daily lives despite every effort to understand it….

Where the Hell are the lost socks?

Is it our washing machines?  Are there secret, unforeseen sock-sized clearances somewhere in the mechanism?  I’ve looked and thus far am denied this discovery.

Is there a Higgs-Boson compartment, between the detergent and bleach cups, initiating at random a series of tiny black holes to capture my favorite socks and send them to fetish-based alien species?  I wouldn’t mind – I just want them back.  Cleaned from whatever freaky adventure they’ve undergone.

Today is meant for you to take some time to mourn the loss of your coziest, warmest, softest feet friends.  They loved your toes at night while you watched television, and made people smile on holidays.  Don’t just accept this loss; take today to redouble your efforts in solving this mystery.

If you’ve got an answer, please provide it in the comments below.  In the meantime, take comfort, from the video below, in knowing that experts in garment cleaning and care continue the ongoing debate…

May 4th is Star Wars Day. Of course!  May the Fourth be With You, and all that!  Makes sense.  If you’re a geek like me, you have always loved futuristic science movies.  Which means you simply adored everything Star Wars as a child and teen.

Geeks like us have grown up, and have applied their skills to a variety of Star Wars related items, including Lego works, scale models, fan sites, home made costumes, and a variety of other endeavors.

Today, I’m going to share with you a recent find online – propaganda posters created to give the feel of how both the Empire and the Rebel Alliance from that world a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, might have recruited for their efforts… Enjoy!

17 Incredible Star Wars Propaganda Posters

For the Empire (Boo!)…

For the Rebel Alliance (Go Alliance!!!)

No matter which side you were (or still are) on, you should find something of interest here.  Love these beautiful works of iconic art, created by artists Mike Kungl, Cliff Chiang, Joe Corroney and many others.

May 3rd is Lumpy Rug Day. This day is meant for you to stand over that pile of crap old rug in your living room, place your hands on your hips while you glare, and dedicate yourself to following through on those silent threats to replace it.  Go ahead, do it, already.  Your friends talk about it behind your back, and are afraid to take their shoes off in your home because of it.

So now that you have made that commitment to beautify your living room with something new, how about taking a gander at these dandies?

We Make Carpets is a unique project by artists Stijn van der Vleuten, Marcia Nolte and Bob Waardenburg.  They like to create carpets out of items you would not expect to see gracing someone’s home.  Here are a few of their extraordinary creations.

5 Extraordinarily Creative Rugs

The Plastic Fork Rug

Yes, you heard right.   Would not want to walk barefoot in this place…

The Pasta Rug

I suppose you could tread lightly on this one, and when you got tired, simply rearrange it all in whatever pattern you’d like.  Got pieces left over?  Dinner!

The Army Rug

From a distance it looks quite pretty; however up close it is all business.  Two colors of plastic army soldiers, aligned against each other in the act of a hostile takeover of your den.  Just don’t invite any little boys over, or you will have lost the battle for the coolest rug in town.

The Clean Rug

This one is made out of cleaning supplies, including cotton balls, cotton pads and square facial wipes.  I suppose if it gets dirty, you just need to open another box and redecorate.  Guarantee that there will be no bad complexions in your home!

The Coffee Rug

This one was created by filling cheap plastic coffee cups with coffee and tea containing varying amounts of milk in them.  Guess you won’t have to worry about anything getting spilled in your living room…

Feel free to visit the We Make Carpets website to see other works of living room art they’ve created, including medical supply rugs and even balloon rugs.  It’s definitely worth a looksie!

Got an ugly, lumpy rug you’d like to share with the readers?  Feel free to Twitpic it and share a link below in the comments section!

For Pete’s Sake Day

February 26th is For Pete’s Sake Day, a commemoration of those verbal replacement players we call in during times of extreme anger, stress or pain, so as to not cause Grandma Lorraine, quietly watching Golden Girls in the next room, to spray her chamomile tea all over the sofa.  We all have our perennial favorites — Criminy, Dagnabbit, Doggone, Gadzooks, Jeepers Creepers, Judas Priest, and Tarnation, to name a few.

It’s always amazing to me, how a split second after slamming a hammer on our thumb our minds can register the presence of others, and instantly rein in that primeval desire to shout obscenities aloud like the foulest of sailors.

Explanation and Origin

To those who care about terminology, they are officially known as minced oaths, introduced into our vernacular during the Middle Ages, when the Church monitored the language and actions of the common folk, and were quick to punish any offenses.  Commonly used euphemisms launched at God or Jesus in times of anger and stress had to be glossed over and reworked to avoid such punishments.

Later, as things religiously loosened up, minced oaths became personally chosen alternatives for those who wanted to maintain an air of greater dignity about them, even in times of agony.

Fun Examples of Minced Oaths

Here are 77 ways to cuss out loud without actually cursing, along with what was meant, courtesy of Phrases.Org, with some censoring done by me (Hey, this is a family blog…).

77 Minced Oaths

Begorrah –> By God
Bejabbers –> By Jesus
Bleeding heck –> Bloody Hell
Blimey –> Blind me
Blinking heck –> Bloody Hell
By George –> By God
By golly –> By God’s body
By gosh –> By God
By gum –> By God
By Jove –> By God
Cheese and Rice –> Jesus Christ
Chrissakes –> For Christ’s sake
Christmas –> Christ
Cor blimey –> God blind me
Crikey –> Christ
Criminy –> Christ
Cripes –> Christ
Crivvens –> Christ defend us
Dad gum –> God d*mn
Dagnabbit –> God d*mn it
Dagnammit –> God d*mn it
Dang –> D*mn
Dangnabbit –> God d*mn it
Dangnation –> D*mnation
Darn –> D*mn
Darnation –> D*mnation
Doggone –> God d*mn
Drat –> God rot it
Egad –> A God
Figs –> F*ck
Fink –> F*ck
Flaming heck –> F*cking Hell
Flipping heck –> F*cking Hell
For crying out loud –> For Christ’s sake
For Pete’s sake –> For St. Peter’s sake
For the love of Mike –> For St. Michael’s sake
Freaking –> f*cking
Gadzooks –> God’s hooks
Gat Dangit –> God d*mn it
Gee –> Jesus
Gee whizz –> Jesus
Gee willikers –> Jesus
Godfrey Daniel –> God
Golly Gee willikers –> Jesus
Good garden party –> Good God
Good grief –> Good God
Goodness gracious –> Good God
Gorblimey –> God blind me
Gosh –> God
Gosh darned –> God d*mned
Heck –> Hell
Holy spit –> Holy sh*t
Jason Crisp –> Jesus Christ
Jebus –> Jesus
Jeepers Creepers –> Jesus Christ
Jeez –> Jesus
Jeezy Creezy –> Jesus Christ
Jehosaphat –> Jesus
Jiminy Christmas –> Jesus Christ
Jiminy Cricket –> Jesus Christ
Judas Priest –> Jesus Christ
Land sakes –> For the Lord’s sake
Lawks a mercy –> Lord have mercy
My goodness –> My God
My gosh –> My God
Odds-bodkins –> God’s sweet body
Sacré bleu –> Sang de Dieu (God’s blood)
Sam Hill –> Hell
Shoot –> sh*t
Shucks –> sh*t
Strewth –> God’s Truth
Suffering succotash –> Suffering Saviour
Sugar –> sh*t
Tarnation –> D*mnation
What in Sam Hill? –> What in d*mn Hell?
Wish to goodness –> Wish to God
Zounds –> God’s wounds

Phew.  Glad I got that out.  Why use minced oaths in our daily lives?  Well, chamomile is hard enough to get out of the chintz without Grandma staring us down in disgust.  And then for most of us there’s the worry about the blunt and instantaneous anger of Mom and Dad, or the feared disapproval of our Aunts and Uncles.  How about around co-workers or the boss?  And nobody wants to be excommunicated after an outburst brought on by slamming our head on the low door frame at our local Church, either.

The Proximity of Caring

Distance.  Perhaps that is what minced oaths are all about.  Whether due to geography, ages or emotional bonding, the closer people are to us, the more proximate to our daily lives, the more we care about what they may think about what we do or say.  While I held my emerging sailor mouth in check around Uncle David and Aunt Debbie, I explored the profound and resilient usage of the F-bomb while playing in the back yard with my brothers and cousins.  While our bosses believe we have a clean mouth, that guy in the next cubicle over, who heard when we spilled our coffee all over last month’s project, likely knows better…

Suffering in Silence

I moved into an apartment almost 3 years ago, along with my two daughters.  My oldest got the room next to mine, built-in cabinets providing her with gobs of storage space.  Wanting to help sort things into these same cabinets, I opened them all, small wooden doors gaping into the room, as I knelt over her innumerable collectibles on the carpet below.

Hearing my daughter bring a number of boxes up the stairs into my room, I wanted to make sure they were being put in a place I could get to easily, so I dropped what I was doing and stood up rapidly.  My forehead met, with enormous impact, the bottom corner of one of the doors I had opened not five minutes earlier.

If you bang your skull just right, you actually can see stars.  I know, because they danced through the sheer pain in my head as I fell to the floor in a fetal position, wanting to scream out creative variations of every obscenity I had ever learned, but not doing so because my children were in in the next rooms.  I lie there, gritting my teeth to the point of cracking them, feeling warm blood trickle between my fingers, as I held my head (and fortunately, my tongue…)

The Proximity of Social Media

I’ve been doing a great deal of blocking lately in Twitter, and have had to remove certain individuals from my friendships in Facebook from time to time.  It’s been for a variety of reasons, such as being insulting to others, or exhibiting small-minded or bigoted behaviors.   When I see it, I don’t entertain it any longer, and am always left wondering how someone can treat relative strangers in such offensive ways.

I believe it’s got a lot to do with the unique feeling of distance in social media, in all facets – geographically, due to to a large user age range, and an overall lack of emotional intimacy.  We’ve all had our share of young idiots who storm into Twitter and see just how many people they can tick off before their account gets disabled from the angry feedback.  We navigate Facebook alongside people whose language is less-than-guarded more often than needed.

Is the problem of how we talk to each other in social media due to not really seeing each other?  Is it because we don’t really spend time, physically, in each other’s presences?  If the loss of civility in social media is due to not having social cues similar to those in real lives, then how do we create replacement signals to use in our own personal experiences online?  Please let me know, as I’m open to suggestions in the comments section, and plan to write about social media intimacy and personal boundaries in the near future…

Today is Winnie the Pooh Day, in honor of the birth of Winnie’s creator, Alan Alexander (A. A.) Milne, in 1882.  The Winnie the Pooh series of stories are one of the most famous and dearly loved pieces of children’s literature ever, as well as a movie favorite.

Milne dearly loved his son, Christopher Robin, and enjoyed watching him play with his stuffed bear, Edward.  Milne would take his young son often to the London Zoo, where they enjoyed watching the animals at play together.

The Day Christopher Robin met Winnie

Christopher Robin and Winnie

One day, Milne and son came across a black bear named Winnie, recently donated to the zoo by Henry Colebourne, a soldier from Winnipeg (hence the bear’s name) who had just finished up his service during World War I.  Baby Winnie was purchased for $20.00 by Henry during a train stop in Ontario, on his way to an assignment in France.  Winnie became a hit with Henry’s unit, beloved by all for his antics and constant search for food.

Stopping through London, Henry decided to leave Winnie for a few weeks at the zoo, while he took care of business.

Edward becomes a Winnie, too

Young Christopher Robin fell immediately in love with Winnie, visiting him often at the zoo, and even playing with the bear in his cage.  It was during this time that Christopher Robin renamed his toy bear Winnie, in honor of his favorite animal friend.  The title “Pooh” was added in honor of a swan Christopher met during a holiday trip.

The story begins to take shape, out of love

Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh

Enamored by Christopher’s love for animals, Milne began in earnest to write Winnie-the-Pooh in 1926.  The story was to include the adventures of his sweet son and stuffed friends.  Winnie the Pooh’s friends Tigger, Kanga, Roo, Piglet, and Eeyore were copied from Christopher Robin’s toys as well, and appeared over time as he wrote.

Winnie the Pooh’s story is almost always about relationships, as Pooh seeks out fellowship with his friends, whether they are in a good mood or bad.  He always seeks to help out others, provided they are willing to share some honey with him.  Sundry adventures ensue, as Pooh learns how to communicate with others.

It has been said that the interactions in the Pooh stories closely mirror A. A. Milne’s perception of a young Christopher Robin learning and reflecting upon familial relationships as well as the scarier, wonderful, greater world around him.  Winnie the Pooh, his world and his friends, are all a carefully constructed window into the mind of a well-loved, maturing boy.

The gate to Five Hundred Acre Wood

Winnie the Pooh finds a home

The Milne’s lived in Ashdown Forest, East Sussex, next to a forest known as Five Hundred Acre Wood.  This was likely the reason A. A. Milne used the name Hundred Acre Wood for the setting of the Pooh stories, as a number of special place names mentioned in the stories are also in Five Hundred Acre Wood.  To a young Christopher Robin, it must have been strange, to grow up in both an ethereal yet very real place…

Remembering Winnie the Bear

Henry and Winnie

On May 12, 1934, Winnie the black bear passed away in the London Zoo, after having put smiles on the faces of thousands of children who visited with and loved him.  A statue at the Zoo commemorates Winnie and Henry Colebourne, who ultimately decided after his short stay in London that Winnie needed to stay and entertain the children who loved him so.

A childhood best seller becomes a beloved movie

Following his string of successes with the Pooh series, A. A. Milne did not want to write any further stories, feeling that he had lost quite a bit of freedom in what he could write, and wishing to return to full-length novels and mystery stories.  It wasn’t until Walt Disney purchased the rights to the stories from Milne’s widow in 1966 that Winnie the Pooh and friends got new life in a world in love with the cinema.  To all of the familiar friends of Hundred Acre Wood, the characters Rabbit and Owl were added by the Disney screenwriters.

Where is Winnie the Pooh now?

Original Pooh and friends

The original stuffed animals the characters are derived from are currently housed at E. P. Dutton’s office in New York, with the exception of Roo, which was unfortunately lost long ago.

If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you. ~ Winnie the Pooh

Through sharing the many wonderful adventures of Winnie the Pooh, A. A. Milne helped us to fall in love with his forever-young son Christopher Robin.  Through the doe-eyed, inquisitive acceptance of silly little cubby all stuffed with honey, we learned once again to appreciate the innocence of children everywhere.

Thank you, Winnie, for many blustry memories…

Afternote

Toronto rapper Drake, during a 2010 interview regarding his then-upcoming CD Take Care, cited the Winnie the Pooh book series as a major influence in his life.  He is purported to have recently spent tens of thousands of dollars in purchasing a first edition of the series…

Dedicated to my friend Gary Arbaugh’s little Piglet, which passed away after only a day of life, on this day…

C'mon, this one is just screaming for a name!

October 2nd is Name Your Car Day.  Your car says a great deal about you, whether acting as your status symbol or shouting through the clouds of burnt oil that you just don’t give a damn.  Shouldn’t you do your automobile some justice (or simply get revenge,) and name it appropriately?

The same with animals that you find and bring home, if you name your car, it becomes yours, truly yours. And it makes it more difficult to turn you back on it in times of need.  The relationship might be love-hate, but it is still a relationship.

Putting aside that naming your vehicle is a personal matter, here are some rules you can follow when naming your empty McDonald’s bag mover:

• If your care is a veritable workhorse, make it a manly, strong name.   Some manly options you may include are Lance, Max, Flex, Steel, Sterling or Magnum.
• If you work in the color of your car, add the word The to the beginning, and the color immediately after.  Oh, something like The Orange Snail could do…
• You can name a car after someone you love, but never, ever after someone you hate.  I for one do not want to be caught behind the grimy wheel of a Bernie Madhoff.  Maybe you could name it after a benefactor that allowed you to get the car in the first place? First names only, please. Unless the last name is pretty cool…
• Sports cars should have fast, dangerous sounding names.  You can work in Bolt, Quake, Fire, Blaster or even Danger.  Remember, the name needs to sound dangerous to everyone else, not just to you.  Recurring Acid Reflux is not an option, nor is Leaky Natural Gas.
• You can name a car after something you really love.  Maybe you can work in the word “Chocolate” or “Caramel” or “Mocha” into a particularly brown model.
• 

  So is this one a he or a she?

  Sleek and sexy cars can have the additional title of “Lady” or “Princess” added in front.  A nice brown sexy Lexus might be Lady Prima Chocolata.  I for one would rather be behind the wheel of the Bernie Madhoff, but to each their own.

• Popular cartoon characters are always a winner, especially among whimsical cars like Volkswagens.  The Road Runner is always popular, and can do well to show an utter lack of creativity.
• Old beater cars can proudly wear the additional name of “Old” in front of their names.  Old Timer, Old Yeller, etc.
• Try to figure out a name that would reflect well on the driver, as the name will have some bearing on how people view you, too. Nobody wants to ride with the guy boldly maneuvering the Piece of Crap.
• A pickup truck should have a folksy name.  Chance. Rufus. Red. You get it.
• Big, expensive luxury automobiles (we don’t call them cars) should have a name with a pedigree.  Think Archibald or Bartholemew, Caterina or Lawrence.

What have you named you car?  Please give a comment below and let me know if it’s interesting, and why you chose that name…

Today’s post is in commemoration of Comic Book Day.   Our earliest known manifestations of comic book-like narrative began in France, some 32,000 years ago: rough prehistoric cave carvings, typically portraying the men and animals involved in massive hunting exhibitions, proud boastings of early organization and success.  Soon thereafter color was introduced to the etchings, bringing them to life even now.

The ancient Egyptians, through the use of hieroglyphics, began the tradition of linear story-telling by placing images alongside each other with a narrative. Military defeats, rises and falls from power and glory, tragedy and triumph were reawakened through the almost-magical working of stone. And color, brilliant color, brought the story to life…

The use of illustration to tell a narrative has never been the fodder of limited intelligence or juvenility; rather, stories told through the magic of a skilled artist have caught the continuing attentions of other artisans, collegians, world leaders as well as the populace in general, learned and unlearned.  The gifts of Michelangelo and Da Vinci have eternally moved our hearts with a single frame….

We can trace the origins of the modern-day comic book to Richard Fenton Outcalt’s work, The Yellow Kid, circa 1896. Using the traditions of his artistic predecessors, Richard added on an extremely important graphic device – the balloon. He reserved areas devoid of background imagery, and wrote in text spoken by the characters. Suddenly, the individual cartoon images of his time became short graphic novels, of sorts. The reader had to then add a voice in his mind to match the character, which was only a synapse or two away from imagining motion, background noise, smells, and what might lie beyond the drawn square. It moved us from the happy stare to the desire to see what would occur next.  In other words, our minds were now set in motion, our imaginations lit on fire…

The first comic books tended to maintain a humorous tone, hence the very early adoption of the word “comic” when describing them.  Light-hearted comic books began to gain popularity in Italy, France, Japan and Portugal, among other countries with largely literate populaces and cheap printing presses.

During the Great Depression, not only a desire for old-fashioned humor but also escapism from the travails of daily life moved the comic book into the realm of adventure.  Flash Gordon and Dick Tracy comics gained prominence, as well as Prince Valiant and the Phantom, as we were brought out of the misery to take part in saving others on the street, forest, and netherworlds. Overseas, the adventurous Tintin took a foothold in Belgium, and soon therafter, the Superhero emerged…

The first Superman comic book was introduced through the Action Comics series, on June 30, 1938. Afterward and through 1945, over 400 comic book heroes were introduced trying to capitalize on Superman’s successful formula, but most faded away due to a lack of interest in establishing relationships with so many others. We were a illustratively monogamous bunch. The character Batman was introduced in 1939, developing a slow but steady following.  When Captain America was introduced, the cover featured him fighting Adolf Hitler, an outlet for American children to believe that a patriotic superhero was helping their fathers (and mothers) in the battle against the Axis Powers .

During the somber and defensive era of McCarthyism, comic books also took a blow to the gut, after Psychiatrist Frederic Wertham wrote The Seduction of the Innocent, accusing comics of corrupting our youth, inciting them to mimic the violence therein. From this, a code of conduct for comic book writers called the Comics Code Authority was introduced, decimating a number of popular titles and/or the characters therein, saddening their devoted yet silently brooding fans.

During the 1950 and 1960s, Marvel Comics emerged with a rapidly growing fanbase following the exploits of The Fantastic Four, The Incredible Hulk, The X-Men, and Spiderman. It is interesting to note that the SuperHeroes that emerged during the period held in check by the most stringent period of the Comics Code Authority are dominating the film industry of today…

The sexual revolution of the 1970s began spicing things up in the comic book industry, as Barbarella made her scantily clad appearance in stores, and Conan the Barbarian made us all seem so puny in the mirror. Society’s mores were questioned, authority condemned, violence enacted for the sake of justice, and sex was rampant.  In comic books too!  In the later 70’s as Rock music began its rapid march to take over the buttons in the local jukebox, Heavy Metal made its way into many a teenager’s hand (and under his mattress, safely away from Mom’s glance.)

The comic book took a bit of a dark turn during the 1970s, some say beginning with the murder of Spiderman’s girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, by the villainous Green Goblin. Superheroes began to appear more human, with frailties, despite skin as hard as diamonds.  Superheroes could be challenged, beat, or stamped into utter misery, if the proper lever could be found. After Stan Lee agreed to write a three-part Spiderman series decrying drug use, the Comics Code Authority began to lessen its influence over the industry, allowing drug use to be mentioned, as long as it was in a negative way. The Comics Code was soon loosened further, allowing writers to include otherworldly creatures such as ghosts, vampires and werewolves in their story lines; Swamp Thing and Ghost Rider emerged in response.

Today’s comic books (and graphic novels) have almost all of the complexity of any major piece of literature, albeit portrayed in richly drawn detail, and obviously with far, far fewer words.  Independent publishers of comic fare such as Pacific, Eclipse and First challenged the powerhouses of comicdom. In response to the challenge, Superman was revamped, Wonder Woman became sexier, and Batman got a complete makeover, cape, car, muscles and all.  The emphasis was on creating an iconic art piece on every page, replete with a storyline that absolutely could not be put down. These are not your father’s comics, as the cynicism of the 1980s and advent of modern Psychology brought with it enhanced character development in the comic world.

Our faithful SuperHeroes no longer battle evil in a quest for simple goodness or for a better America, in response to an almost cellular sense of Patriotism.  The new Men and Women of Steel and Gotham simply have a deep, undeniable psychological desire to crush the criminal, often in reponse to a wrong they suffered or witnessed during their formative years.  And the villains have followed suit, rising to this challenge by transforming from bad guys into psychologically challenged menaces of society, bent on ever-increasing destruction.

Oh, to be able to put a fresh copy of The Dark Knight into the hands of that young man so many thousands of years ago, to see what he would think as his eyes scanned the pages, recognition on his face to the eternal symbols of fear, love, joy and hate, dropping his sharp stone and slowly sitting down next to his sleeping family, comic book in hand…

The unusual concoction was originally designed and marketed as a wallpaper cleaning putty by Noah McVicker of Kutol Products of Cincinnati, a soap and cleaning products manufacturer.  After World War II, Noah’s nephew Joseph joined the company, and noted that children were playing with the putty, shaping animals and people, easily reusing the product until it dried, whereupon the children simply scooped more out of the can. Parents seemed happy with this use, as the product appeared to be non-toxic to their kids, and easy to clean up after.  After mulling it over, Noah McVicker  decided to change the company’s name to Rainbow Crafts, and along with his uncle, Bill Rhodenbaugh, immediately began remarketing the product as a children’s modeling clay.

In 1955, Joe brought his  product, then marketed in 1 ½ lb. cans, to a convention for educators, where Woodward & Lothrop came across it. At the time Play-Doh only came in the color white, but the teachers who came across it not only did not mind this shortfalling; they fell in love with the product and its educational qualities, squishing and shaping it over and over.

Two years later, Play-Doh appeared on shelves in yellow, red and blue, with the infinite ability to mix and match colors. Play-Doh began to be advertised on shows such as Captain Kangaroo, adding to its instant appeal. Macy’s and Marshall Field’s purchased and sold the product as well. Play-doh was an instant hit, and Joe McVicker became an almost instant millionaire.

In 1960, accoutrements such as extruders and shapers were introduced with the “Fun Factory” set, beginning the time-honored search every child has had in finding something to work, squish, cut, and poke Play-Doh with. Smaller mini-cans began to be introduced, beginning the time-honored let-down we’ve all had when we discover how little of the product we find after opening the package…

In 1991, Play-Doh became part of the Hasbro line of PlaySkool products, and five years later Hasbro released a new educational Play-Doh based CD-ROM game, taking the easy-to-use clay into the world of computer-based technology.

The brand logo for Play-Doh first featured the faces of children, followed by an elf in the late 1950s, and eventually the well-known Play-Doh Pete, whose familiar smock and beret was replaced by a baseball cap in 2002.

Over 700,000,000 pounds (2 Billion cans) of Play-Doh have been sold, and 95 million little cans reach the hands of children each and every year since 1995.

How do you make your own Play-Doh? Hasbro has long admitted its product is largely made from water, salt, and wheat flour. The U.S. Patent lists a number of other types of lubricants, degradation inhibitors, and preservatives. You can make a rudimentary Play-Doh at home by following the instructions at http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Make-Playdough-Play-doh/

If you want to take the familiar scent of Play-Doh each and every day with you to the office (and on dates,) simply buy a 1-oz bottle of Demeter’s Play-Doh Cologne Spray! http://www.demeterfragrance.com/Product.aspx?ProductID=1025

Play-Doh was named in 2003 by the Toy Industry Association as one of the top 100 most memorable and creative toys of the 20^th Century.